My Hometown
by tvandmusicfan
Summary: This is the eighth story of my series. House, Cuddy, Wilson, and Natalie are heading to a small town in Ohio to visit House’s parents for Labor Day weekend.
1. Sky Pilot

_This is the eighth story of my series. House, Cuddy, Wilson, and Natalie are heading to a small town in Ohio to visit House's parents for Labor Day weekend._

**Sky Pilot**

August 31st

2:00pm

House, Cuddy, Wilson, and Natalie were standing in line at the airport, waiting to board their plane.

"Stop picking at the back of your head," Cuddy said to House.

"I have a killer zit back there," House said.

"I think they have officially become an old married couple," Natalie said to Wilson.

"No we haven't," House said. "We still do it like a hundred times a week."

"House!" Cuddy said as she hit him in the arm when she noticed that person taking the tickets laughing at what he said.

"What?" House asked. "You don't think she has had sex before."

"That doesn't mean I want her to know about our sex life," Cuddy said.

"Can I know about it?" Natalie asked. "It fascinates me."

"You are such a perv," House said. "Save those comments for my father."

"Please control your mouth in front of his father," Cuddy said to Natalie.

"If I have to do that, what is the point of me coming?" Natalie asked with a smile.

"So you and Wilson can do it in Ohio," House said.

"Shut up House," Wilson said to him.

"What?" House asked. "I heard that what happens in Ohio, stays in Ohio. Of course, I did hear that from the same guy that thought Lebanon was one of the 50 states."

"This is going to be a long couple of days," Cuddy said.

"As least you get to spend it with me," House said in a gay voice as he gave her a hug.

"Can we not make this number 101 for the week and keep moving," the ticket collector said to House and Cuddy.

"Please tell me that you are one of our flight attendants," House said to her.

"I am," she said. "Don't even think about joining the mile high club up there."

"Like we are not already members," House said as she ripped their tickets. "Maybe not Wilson. He is kind of a prude."

"We can change that," the flight attendant said as she gave Wilson as smile, causing him to blush. Cuddy shoved House to get him moving before her caused even more of a scene.

The four of them boarded the plane and took their seats. Wilson and Natalie sat in the two seats in front of House and Cuddy. Natalie turned around in her seat to ask Cuddy a question. "So when do you think we are going to make it to his parents house?" Natalie asked her.

"The flight lands at 6:30 and it will take us about an hour and a half to drive from the airport to their house," Cuddy said. "Between 8:30 and 9:00 would be my guess." Natalie turned back around and started having a conversation with Wilson.

Cuddy looked over at House, who was just staring at the back of Natalie's seat.

"Are you okay?" Cuddy asked him.

"I am just trying to get mentally prepared for it all," House said. "I haven't been back there in about 20 years."

"I'm fine," House said.

"Are you?" Cuddy asked.

"Yeah," House said. "This is going to make my mom very happy. She is going to like her son being back in her house. It is just too bad my dad has to be there."

"Just stay close to me," Cuddy said. "He knows that if he goes off on you, I will go off on him."

"I hope our baby is never going to be having this conversation with their significant other," House whispered to Cuddy so only she could hear.

"As long as we have learned from our parents mistakes, we will be fine," Cuddy whispered back to him.

Natalie turned back around and looked at House and Cuddy. "What are you guys whispering about?" Natalie asked.

"Your face," House said. "We were trying to decide if you born that way or if you were beat with an ugly stick."

"It's probably sex plans," Wilson said. "Some people look for exits when they are in a new place in cause there is a fire, while House looks for places to take Cuddy."

"Thank you for putting that so delicately," Cuddy said.

"Have you guys ever seriously done it on an airplane?" Natalie asked them.

"Should you ever believe anything his says?" Cuddy said back to Natalie.

"She is stalling," Natalie said to Wilson. "That means yes."

"No we have not," Cuddy said.

"Let's see if she can say that in a couple of hours," House said.

"I will be able to," Cuddy said to him. _No she won't_, House mouthed to Natalie.

"Yes, I will," Cuddy said. "And the next time you mouth something, make sure that I am not still looking at you."

"But it's funnier that way," House said.

"It is," Natalie said. The flight attendant they met earlier came walking by them.

"Excuse me," House said to her.

"Yes?" She asked House.

"Can you tell me if there are any snakes on the plane?" House asked her. "Samuel L. Jackson isn't here to protect us."

"Don't worry," she said to House. "We make sure only to put snakes on a plane in which he is on."

"I feel better already," House said to her as she rolled her eyes.

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_Please review if you like it and want me to keep going._


	2. On The Road Again

**On The Road Again**

7:30pm

House, Cuddy, Wilson, and Natalie had made it through the flight with House only embarrassing them a few more time. House also had his watch go off every 10 minutes to ask Cuddy if she wanted to go do it.

House was now driving a rental car from the airport to his parent's house. Cuddy sat in the passenger's seat and Natalie and Wilson sat in the back. They were currently driving down a back road surrounded by farmland. Natalie suddenly rolled up her window.

"What is that smell?" Natalie asked. "It smells like Ohio farted."

"That's cow manure," House said.

"Is the road made out of it or something?" Natalie asked. "That is strong."

"I will stop and ask all the farmers to clean up the cow crap," House said sarcastically.

"Lisa, hit him," Natalie said.

"I try to only hit him when he deserves it," Cuddy said. "That way he knows when he has done something that annoys me." Natalie leaned over the seat and smacked House in the side of the head.

"Don't make me stop this car and go back there and beat you," House said. "Wilson, you are supposed to be keeping an eye on her for me."

"I don't want her to start smacking me," Wilson said.

"Wuss," House said.

"Coming from a man who is complaining that a girl just hit him in the head," Wilson said.

"I could have lost control and we all could have died," House said. "You may not care of anybody in this car dies, but I love my girlfriend and I want her to live."

"Stop sucking up so you can get some on the airplane ride back home," Natalie said.

"There is nothing wrong with a little sucking up," Cuddy said.

"Yes, there is," Wilson said. "We in the back seat have to watch it."

"Does that mean I should not start talking about what a _big_ strong man House is?" Cuddy asked with a smile.

"I prefer not talking about House's penis," Natalie said.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," Cuddy said. "I was talking about his arms."

"No, you weren't," Natalie said.

"No, I wasn't," Cuddy said with a laugh.

"Is this you guys way of getting all your sexual innuendoes out before we get to House's parent's house?" Wilson asked.

"I hope so," Natalie said. "It would creep me out if you guys talk about his penis to his parents."

"I don't think his mother has ever said the word," Wilson said.

"Is your mom a total prude?" Natalie asked House.

"My mom is a lady," House said. "They don't go around saying penis."

"Lisa, I am pretty sure that he just said that we are not ladies," Natalie said.

"Cuddy is a doctor, so she can say it," House said. "You are just a skank." Natalie leaned over the seat again and punched House in the right shoulder. House started purposely moving the wheel so that he kept swerving in and out of his lane. "She broke my arm, so now we are all going to die!" House said.

"Stop it," Cuddy said to House. House started driving street in his lane again.

"My dad used to do that when it was icy outside," Wilson said. "He thought it was fun."

"He just told you that so you did not know that he was drunk," House said.

"My dad doesn't drink," Wilson said.

"Of course he is going to tell you that," House said. "He didn't want you to know that he was walking around a raging alcoholic."

"So in your mind, your parents are always hiding things from you?" Natalie asked.

"Parents lie about everything," House said. "Good parents will do that."

"Good parents lie?" Wilson asked.

"Yes," House said. "A good parent won't tell their kids that they used to do drugs or that they secretly hate mommy."

"I can't believe that actually kind of makes sense," Cuddy said.

"It makes a lot of sense," Wilson said. "If House ever had children, I am pretty sure that he wouldn't want to tell them that he is addicted to Vicodin."

"Exactly," House said. "I would try not to tell them that I am a cripple, but they might be able to figure that one out."

"I can picture that conversation," Natalie said. "Daddy, why do you walk funny? I choose to." House pulled onto a residential street.

"Are we there?" Cuddy asked him.

"Sadly, yes," House said as he pulled into a driveway. "You all get out and I am going to do drive around for five hours."

"Sorry," Cuddy said. "You are not leaving us with them." The four of them got out of the car and headed for the front door.


	3. Knowing Me, Knowing You

**Knowing Me, Knowing You**

Cuddy rang the doorbell to House's parent's home. House thought his mom must have been waiting by the door because it seemed like she opened it the second Cuddy had rang the doorbell.

"Gregory!" Blythe said as she opened the front door and immediately wrapped her arms around her son.

"Hi mom," House said as he gave her a slight hug back.

"It is so good to see you," Blythe said as she gave House a kiss on the cheek. House could hear Natalie stifling her laughter behind him.

"It is good to see you to," House said as his mother finally broke her embrace of him.

"It is so good to see you too Lisa," Blythe said as she gave Cuddy a big hug. "I swear you have gotten prettier since I have seen you last."

"That must be all the drugs that I have been slipping into her coffee," House said.

"You and your jokes Greg," Blythe said.

"Yeah, you and your jokes _Greg_," Natalie said with a smile.

"You must be Lisa's friend Natalie," Blythe said as he want and gave her a hug.

"I must be," Natalie said, a little shocked with the hug. Blythe released Natalie from the embrace and looked over at Wilson.

"I made sure I saved a hug for my sweet little James," Blythe said to Wilson.

"It is good to see you Mrs. House," Wilson said as he gave her a hug.

"Let's get you all inside," Blythe said when she released Wilson from the hug. Blythe escorted them into the house. "John!" Blythe called. "They're here!"

"Did anyone else just think of The Poltergeist?" Natalie asked as Blythe lead them into the living room. House, Cuddy, Wilson, and Natalie all took a seat on the couch. Blythe sat in a chair next to the couch.

"Hey," John said as he came into the living room and sat down in a chair.

"Hey dad," House said.

"Hi, Mr. House," Wilson said to him.

"Hey James," John said. "You didn't have any family to go to for the weekend?"

"My parents are away and this is more fun than going to go visit my cousins," Wilson said.

"How about you?" John asked Natalie. "Why did you come here instead of going to go visit your own family?"

"My family is full of drug-addicts and losers," Natalie said. "You can only hear so many prison stories before you get bored." House laughed at the look on his father's face when Natalie said that.

"Greg," Blythe said. "That's not funny."

"It is a little," Natalie said.

"So how are you Lisa?" John asked her. Cuddy looked around shocked.

"Fine," Cuddy said warily.

"Can I go now?" John asked Blythe. "I'm missing my show."

"You can go," Blythe said. John got up and went back into the kitchen to watch TV.

"You got him to come out and ask Cuddy how she was," House said. "That's impressive."

"He was helping to train today at the base, so he is a little tired," Blythe said. "So how are you guys? Everything been going great?"

"Dandy," House said.

"Don't worry Mrs. House," Wilson said. "You cannot drag this two apart."

"That's good to hear," Blythe said with a big smile. "Are you doing good too James?"

"Just fine," Wilson said.

"How about you Natalie?" Blythe asked her. "Lisa tells me that you guys have been friends almost forever."

"Yeah," Natalie said. "We still go shopping together like when we were younger, but now we get to sit around and talk about your son."

"Don't worry mom," House said. "I am perfect, so it is all good things."

"I know what I say to my friends about your father when I am them, so I am pretty sure that Natalie hears a lot," Blythe said.

"But Lisa told me they just sit around and talk about how ridiculously good looking I am," House said.

"I am sure that is true to honey," Blythe said.

"My mother is patronizing me," House said.

"It is fun to watch too," Cuddy said.

"I hate to break up such interesting conversation, but where is the bathroom Mrs. House?" Wilson asked. "We were traveling for a long time."

"Greg can show you," Blythe said.

"Come on Wilson," House said as he got up from his seat. "I will hold your hand and take you to the bathroom." House and Wilson got up and left.

"So had Greg been treating you correctly?" Blythe asked Cuddy once House left the room.

"Yeah," Cuddy said. "Stacy came back a couple weeks ago, though."

"What did she want?" Blythe asked a little worried.

"To get him back," Cuddy said.

"I am guessing that since you guys are here together that everything is okay?" Blythe asked.

"Don't worry Mrs. House," Natalie said. "Your son told her to drop dead and that Lisa is the one for him."

"That is great to hear," Blythe said with a huge smile. "He is so much happier with you than he ever was with Stacy."

"That is because Stacy is a bitch and Lisa isn't," Natalie said.

"I wasn't exactly going to put it that way, but I am also not going to disagree with you," Blythe said. "I just glad that he is now with Lisa. I always knew there was something special about her."

"Now I know why you really wanted to come here," Natalie said."I think that _she's _in love with you too."


	4. You Showed Me

**You Showed Me**

House came back the living room to all the girls laughing. "Are you guys talking about me?" House asked them.

"Yes," Cuddy said with a smile.

"Mom, are you embarrassing me?" House asked her.

"No," Blythe said. "I wasn't telling them any cute stories about you."

"We have only been here about 20 minutes," Natalie said. "I am sure she does not want to waste them all in one night." Blythe heard the stove timer go off.

"My brownies are ready," Blythe said as she got up from her chair. "Greg, why don't you go show the girls around the house?"

"But you just said that there is brownies," House said.

"You have to let them cool or you will burn your mouth," Blythe said as she want into the kitchen.

"Tour guide," Cuddy said. "Hop to it."

"Fine," House said. "I will show you around the house." House lifted up his shirt. "This is my rock hard stomach."

"Not that House," Cuddy said. "I've already got the tour of that."

"Eww," Natalie said.

"Fine," House said. "This is the living room. See where the carpet jumbles up right here? That is what caused me to trip, which lead to me hitting my head on the brick fireplace."

"Well, that already explains a little about why he is the way he is," Natalie said. House waved for them to keep following him. "This is the main hall. Whenever my parents would leave me home alone I would run up and down the hall just because I could."

"You were an odd kid," Cuddy said.

"I know," House said. House opened the first door in the all. "This is the din. It's basically my mom's reading room. I used to sit in her lap in that chair and she would read me stories."

"Ahhh," Cuddy and Natalie said together.

"Shut up," House said as they headed to the next door. "This is the guest room where Natalie will be sleeping. I vomited on the floor right next to that window once."

"It could have been worse," Natalie said. "He could have told us that someone got murdered there."

"My mom said that I was never allowed to speak of that," House said seriously as he walked to the next room. "This is my parent's room," House said pointing at a closed door. "No one is allowed to go in there but them. By now, I am afraid to look."

"I'll give you $20 to go in there," Cuddy said to Natalie.

"Only if you are not scared of falling into quicksand," House said.

"I'll do it when his father is not lurking around the corner somewhere," Natalie said. House then lead them to the last door in the hall.

"This is my room," House said. "My dad cleaned it out, so there is nothing of mine left in it. It's basically now another guest room." House, Cuddy, and Natalie went into the room.

"So this is where you used to jack off," Natalie said, receiving a shove from Cuddy.

"I used to do that in the bathroom to wash away all the evidence," House said.

"I am not hearing this conversation," Cuddy said.

"Like you were not doing something in your bedroom at night when you were growing up," Natalie said to Cuddy.

"I think you should tell us about it," House said to Cuddy. "_Specific_ details."

"Brownies are ready!" Blythe called from down the hall.

"Sorry," Cuddy said. "Can't keep your mom waiting."

"That is a cop-out," House said as he followed Cuddy and Natalie out of the room. When they got back to the living room, Wilson was already in there talking with Blythe.

"Brownies!" House said as he held out his hands like a little kid. "Blythe handed him a plate with brownies on it.

"Control yourself fatty," Natalie said to him.

"House will be feeding his face all weekend, so be prepared," Wilson said to Natalie.

"Yeah," House said to Natalie with a mouthful of brownie.

"A mother loves to see their child enjoy the food that they cooked for them," Blythe said.

"That is good because House enjoys when other people cook for him," Cuddy said.

"If you two girls ever become mothers then you will understand how you actually like cooking for your kids," Blythe said.

"That means Wilson is going to make a great mother," House said.

"I suck at cooking so my kids are going to hate me," Natalie said.

"There will be other reasons besides the lack of cooking skill that will make them hate you," House said.

"As soon as your mother leaves the room, I am going to hit you," Natalie said.

"He is just teasing you," Blythe said. "On the cooking issue, I am sure that Lisa will help you She is a pretty good cook. If she ever had any kids, I am sure that her kid's bellies will always be full."

"Subtle hint mother," House said.

"You can't blame an old woman for trying," Blythe said. House and Cuddy gave each other a little smile, knowing that soon Blythe might be one of the happiest women in the world.


	5. Kiss Me

**Kiss Me**

They all sat around for more than an hour telling Blythe about all the boring things that had happened since they had seen her last. John then came in the room and made the declaration that it was time for bed.

"It's 10:30," House said.

"You need to get plenty of sleep because we are getting up early to clean out the garage," John said.

"That's funny," House said. "That didn't sound like you asking me to help."

"That is because I wasn't asking," John said. "Don't worry. I am sure all your _friends_ will help."

"I like how you said it like they are imaginary," House said.

"We'll help," Cuddy said, trying to avoid a major fight between House and his father already.

"Get to bed then," John said. "None of you guys are getting younger." John headed down the hall to his and Blythe's bedroom.

"Did a person who is about 90,000 years older than us really just call us old?" Natalie asked.

"He just wants to make sure you guys get plenty of sleep so you stay healthy," Blythe said.

"I am really sure that was the reason," House said.

"I am tired," Wilson said. "It has been a long day."

"James, I assumed that you and Natalie didn't want to sleep in the same room, so is it okay for you to sleep on the couch?" Blythe asked Wilson.

"Wilson wouldn't mind sleeping in the same room as Natalie," House said with a smile.

"The couch is fine," Wilson said. "Everyone get off my bed."

"I think your father is rubbing off on him," Natalie said as she got up off the couch.

"Tell me if you guys need anything," Blythe said. Blythe got up and then motioned with her hands for House to get up and give her a hug.

"So adorable," Natalie said with a smile as she ran past House to avoid his cane from hitting her.

"Goodnight Mrs. House," Cuddy said as she gave Blythe a hug. Everyone then headed for their destined sleeping places.

"My dad is extra moody this weekend," House said as he closed the door to his and Cuddy's bedroom.

"Your mom is extra maternal," Cuddy said.

"That is because her baby boy is home," House said. "I am surprised she is not in her trying to put me in my jammies."

"Just try to be on your best behavior this weekend," Cuddy said. "For your mom and me."

"Does that mean that tomorrow morning I shouldn't tell my dad to fuck off concerning the garage?" House asked.

"I think it does mean that," Cuddy said. Cuddy sat on the edge of the bed and watched House as he got undressed.

"Stop watching me pervert," House said.

"No," Cuddy said as she stood up and walked to him. Cuddy moved her hands over his now bare chest.

"You better stop before you get both of us riled up," House said as Cuddy started to plant kisses on his chest.

"Too late," Cuddy said as she kissed her way up his neck.

"You need to stop before you leave both of us incredibly frustrated," House said. "My parents are still awake."

"I just want to make out for a little while," Cuddy said as she bit his lower lip.

"I don't know if Little House will be able to stop at that," House said.

"Come on," Cuddy said as she grabbed House by his hands and pulled him towards the bed. Cuddy pulled down the covers and House got underneath them. Cuddy quickly stripped down to her bra and panties. She then put one of House's shirts on as a nightie. Cuddy then turned off the lights and climbed into the bed with House.

"Is this some kind of hormonal nesting thing?" House asked Cuddy as she wrapped his arms around her.

"I guess so," Cuddy said. "Nothing like being in the arms of my protector." Cuddy then started to kiss House. Every time House's hands started to stray too low down her body, Cuddy would bring his hands back up. House soon realized that Cuddy was not horny, but rather she just wanted to be held in his arms and near to him. House didn't understand why Cuddy's pregnancy hormones made her do some of the things that she did, but he really didn't mind. Of course, he knew that was because right now her hormones were putting her in a good mood. When the bad moods started to come, House was going to curl up in a ball and wait for it to end.

House and Cuddy stayed making out for more than half and hour. When Cuddy finally got so tired that she could barely keep her head up, she laid it down on the pillow next to House's head. House gave Cuddy a kiss on the forehead as he saw her tired eyes try to stay open.

"Goodnight Cuddy," House said.

"Goodnight," Cuddy said as she finally closed her eyes. House watched Cuddy for a few minutes before he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	6. Dizzy

_I can't stop singing the Three's Company theme to myself. The weird thing is that I haven't seen that show in ages._

**Dizzy**

September 1

7:00am

House woke up to the sound of pounding at the bedroom door.

"Get up!" John yelled through the door. Some bad memories of waking up for school went through House's mind. House opened his eyes and that Cuddy was not in bed with him. Cuddy then came out of the bathroom.

"Did you call to me?" Cuddy asked him.

"No," House said. "You just missed the joy of my dad's wake-up call. I guess technically it would be wake-up pound."

"I guess all that time in the military made him forget that some people like to sleep in," Cuddy said as she sat down on the bed.

"Are you okay?" House asked her. "You're a little flushed."

"I don't feel very good this morning," Cuddy said.

"Morning sickness?" House asked.

"I think so," Cuddy said.

"Any cramping?" House asked.

"No," Cuddy said. "I'm just a little nauseous."

"Just lie down and rest then," House said.

"Your dad wants us to clean the garage," Cuddy said.

"Just lie down for an hour," House said. "You will feel like crap all day if you do not try to recoup."

"Okay," Cuddy said as she lied back down in bed.

"Wait a minute," House said as he leaned off the bed and grabbed his pants. "Suck on a couple of Tic Tacs. They will put a little sugar into your system. House gave her the Tic Tacs and then gave her a quick kiss. House then got dressed to get ready for breakfast.

In the kitchen, Blythe had whipped up a breakfast for everyone. "Morning sweetie," Blythe said when House walked in.

"Morning mom," House said as he sat down at the table.

"Morning sweetie," Wilson and Natalie said to House together.

"Shut up," House said to them.

"Is that how you talk to your friends?" John asked.

"Yes," House said as Blythe handed him a plate.

"Cuddy doesn't feel good so she is not going to eat breakfast with us," House said to his mom. "She can make something when she gets up later."

"Does she have an upset stomach?" Blythe asked him. "Maybe I should make her some tea."

"I think she just needs a little sleep and she will feel better," House said.

"So Lisa feels _sick_ in the _morning_," Natalie joked with a smile on her face.

"Stop putting ideas in my mom's head," House said to Natalie.

"It was probably all the travel yesterday," Wilson said. "A lot of people get stomach aches when they travel."

"Or when she woke up this morning this first thing she saw was House's face," Natalie said, causing John to let out a little laugh.

"John!" Blythe said.

"What?" John said. "It's probably true."

"Nonsense," Blythe said. "I am going to go see if Lisa needs anything." Blythe headed down to House and Cuddy's room and knocked on the door.

"Come in," Cuddy said.

"Yeah," Blythe said softly as she walked into the room and sat on the side of the bed. "Greg said you were not feeling very well."

"I'll be okay," Cuddy said. "Just a little stomach ache." Blythe put her hand on Cuddy's forehead to take her temperature.

"You're not warm," Blythe said. "Your face is a little red though."

"That was from hovering over the toilet this morning," Cuddy said.

"If you need anything, just call me," Blythe said.

"Okay," Cuddy said. Blythe got up and tucked Cuddy in. She then gave Cuddy a quick kiss on the temple and left the room. As Blythe walked back to the kitchen, she wondered if what Natalie said about Cuddy being pregnant might be true.

"Is she okay?" Wilson asked Blythe as she came back in.

"She's fine," Blythe said. Blythe sat down at the table next to House. "Greg, I was hoping we could talk after breakfast is over," Blythe said to House.

"Sure," House said nervously.


	7. Things We Said Today

**Things We Said Today**

House finished his breakfast trying to out what his mother wanted to talk to him about. When they were finished eating, John took Wilson and Natalie out to the garage to clean it out and get some stuff ready for the barbeque that night. House followed his mother into the din. Blythe sat down in her reading chair.

"Do you remember how we used to come in here and read?" Blythe asked House.

"Yeah," House said.

"Sit here," Blythe said, tapping on the foot rest in front of the chair. House went and sat on the foot rest. "I remember when you were younger and I would read to you and then you would memorize the stories and then act like you were reading it back to me and that you knew how to read," Blythe said.

"I didn't understand the squiggly lines on the paper with all the pictures were for," House said.

"You learned," Blythe said. "You were always really smart."

"Thanks to you at least," House said.

"It wasn't that your dad didn't think school was important as much as he wanted you to become a hard worker," Blythe said.

"Him yelling at me and him throwing things at me to get me to clean the toilet really made me want to be a hard worker," House said.

"I know he was too hard on you," Blythe said. "I'm sorry I let it happen."

"It's not your fault mom," House said.

"You are my baby," Blythe said. "It was my fault for not stopping it. I hope it taught you to not be that way with your children. I guess even if you are, Lisa won't let it happen to her children."

"I am not going to do what he did mom," House said. "It is a father's job to protect them. I can't protect them if I am causing the problems. I will do everything to make sure nothing happens to it. I am not going to make it Cuddy's job to watch out for what I do around our child."

"I guess we will not have to worry about this until or if that time ever comes," Blythe said.

"Yeah," House said as he started to look around the room.

"I saw _and_ heard that," Blythe said.

"What?" House asked as he looked back at her.

"The pause before you said 'yeah' and you looking away from me," Blythe said. "I could always tell when you were lying or hiding something from me."

"It was nothing mom," House said. "I am sorry if I do not speak fast enough for you and I don't look at you every minute of the day."

"Now you are getting defensive," Blythe said. "Another classic sign."

"You are just trying to trick me," House said.

"Trick you how?" Blythe asked.

"You are trying to get me to say something that I shouldn't be saying," House said.

"Is Lisa the one telling you not to say something?" Blythe asked.

"I am not answering anymore questions," House said.

"I think I might have already got my answer," Blythe said with a smile.

"No, you didn't," House said. "Now I know where I got the need to know everyone else's business."

"Greg, look at me," Blythe said as she lifted his chin with her hand. "It is a yes or no question. Is Lisa pregnant?"

"I plead the fifth," House said, unable to just lie to his mother.

"How is you saying yes or no going to incriminate yourself?" Blythe asked him.

"Because if I do, Cuddy will kill me," House said. Tears started to well up in Blythe's eyes. "Don't cry mom," House said. "She isn't going to really kill me."

"You know that is not why I am crying," Blythe said.

"No, I don't," House said. "This conversation never happened."

"I don't get why you would not want to tell me," Blythe said.

"Because sometimes in life you need to wait to tell people things in case something bad happens," House said.

"Do you think something bad is going to happen?" Blythe asked him.

"I don't know," House said. "A similar bad thing happened before Cuddy and I started to date." Blythe knew what House was trying to imply.

"Maybe you should go check on Lisa," Blythe said.

"She's fine mom," House said. "She would tell me if something is wrong."

"Okay," Blythe said. "Maybe we should go help your father in the garage."

"Yeah," House said as he and his mom stood up. "One more thing mom. No one is to know about this imaginary conversation."

"Why not?" Blythe asked innocently. "It was just a nice trip down memory lane." Blythe gave her son a big smile. Just then, John came knocking at the door. Blythe went and opened it.

"Stop babying him and let him get to work," John said. John then saw a few remaining tears in Blythe's eyes. "Have you been crying?" John asked her. "What the hell did you do?" John took a step towards House.

"He didn't do anything," Blythe said as she stuck her arm out to stop John from moving closer to House. "He is a very good boy."

"Fine," John said. "Let's get to work. Is your girlfriend up yet?"

"Let her sleep John," Blythe said. "She needs her rest." Blythe gave House a big smile. The three of them then headed out to the garage.


	8. I Work So Hard

**I Work So Hard**

House, Wilson, Natalie, and his parents had been cleaning the garage for about an hour before Cuddy came out.

"Lisa!" Natalie said. "You came out to join in on the fun!"

"Your sarcasm has been noted," House said to Natalie.

"How are you feeling sweetie?" Blythe asked as she walked over to Cuddy.

"Much better," Cuddy said.

"Good," John said. "Help James get the lawn chairs out of the basement."

"Wait," Blythe said. "Have you eaten?"

"I had a banana before I came out here," Cuddy said.

"You have to eat more than that," Blythe said. "Let me make you some oatmeal."

"You don't have to do that," Cuddy said.

"I want to and I insist," Blythe said as she took Cuddy by the arm and lead her back into the house.

"Your mom would have been a good nurse," Wilson said.

"She's worse than Cameron," House said.

"Natalie!" John said loudly, making everyone turn and look at him.

"You and Wilson go get the lawn chairs out of the basement," John said.

"Yes, sir," Natalie said. "I might have to clean my pants out first, though." Wilson and Natalie headed to the basement to go get the lawn chairs.

"Can you not yell at them," House said. "They are not used to your abuse and they looked frightened."

"I think they can handle someone telling them what to do," John said. "Are you saying that Lisa does not yell a little at work to get things done?"

"She doesn't need to," House said. "She just gives you this look at the Psycho music starts playing."

"Speaking of Lisa, you should tell your girlfriend not to dress like that," John said.

"What is wrong with how she dresses?" House asked.

"She has her chest hanging out," John said.

"It's called cleavage dad," House said. "When you see nipples, then you can complain."

"You shouldn't let her advertise herself like that," John said. "You need to let other guys know that she is not up for sell."

"First of all, I do not own her so I cannot tell her what to do," House said. "Second of all, that is how she dresses. I like how she dresses. Lastly, it does not matter if guys think she is for sell because she is not on the market and she is not trying to be on the market."

"Women like her are always shopping," John said.

"Women like her?" House asked. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"My father told me there are two kinds of women who do not get married," John said. "The extremely shy and the ones who get around. Lisa does not seem shy to me."

"Did you just call Cuddy a slut to my face?" House asked.

"Since I know you, I am assuming she is not a virgin," John said.

"That doesn't make her a slut," House said. "This is the 2000's dad. You are forgetting that there is now two more kind of women who do not get married. First are the lesbians and second are the women with careers. Believe me, Cuddy is not a lesbian."

"You can have a career and be married," John said.

"Cuddy didn't need to settle just to be married," House said. "She waited until she got to be with the person that she wanted to be with."

"And that person is you?" John asked. "That does mean that she is settling. She is with a person that does not care enough about her because he doesn't care about other people."

"You don't know what the hell you are talking about!" House yelled.

"Don't raise your voice at me!" John yelled.

"Or what?" House asked. "You'll beat me? Of course not. Other people are here and that might look bad."

"What is going on?" Blythe asked as she and Cuddy came out from the house. House just turned and walked out of the garage, trying to control his anger.

"House!" Cuddy said as she quickly started to follow him.

"Go away," House said as he continued to walk away from the house.

"What's wrong?" Cuddy asked as she grabbed his arm to get him to stop.

"I said go away!" House turned around and yelled at her. Cuddy just froze in shock and watched House walk away. Blythe went to Cuddy.

"He just needs some time to cool down," Blythe said to Cuddy. "He's not mad at you." Cuddy turned around and headed back to John.

"What did you do to him?" Cuddy asked him, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"I didn't do anything," John said. "He was just being a jerk like always."

"You are lying," Cuddy said. "I saw the anger in his eyes."

"Calm down Lisa," Blythe said to Cuddy. "What happened John?"

"He called a Lisa a slut," Natalie said from the top of the basement stairs.

"You did what?" Blythe asked.

"I never used those words," John said.

"He just implied it," Natalie said.

"Didn't your parents ever teach you to mind your own business," John said.

"Didn't your parent ever tell you not to call people names?" Natalie asked. "Besides, it was hard not to listen after I heard House scream the word slut."

"You're a jackass," Cuddy said as she headed back into the house. Natalie followed her. Wilson also quickly followed them, trying to stay out of the mess.

"Why do you always have to upset Greg?" Blythe asked John.

"All I said was that he shouldn't allow his girlfriend let her chest hang out for others to see and he went berserk," John said.

"I thought you just told Natalie to mind her own business," Blythe said. "It is not out business how Lisa dresses. Please don't fight with them John. I want to continue seeing them and we will not get to if you keep starting fights with them. Just leave Greg alone. I am not going to make you apologize to him, but I wish you would. All I ask is for no more fights this trip."

"Fine," John said as he got back to work. Blythe went back into the house to make sure Cuddy was okay. She knew that Cuddy wasn't as much as upset with the slut comment as the fact that House had snapped at her. She knew that she had to make sure Cuddy knew that House meant no harm.


	9. Under The Bridge

I like how everyone else in the building is off today except my workplace. I know you guys had something to do with it. I know you wanted to make sure that I wrote another chapter today and did not have vacation. At least tomorrow will be fun for 4th of July. Only for my American readers, though.

**Under The Bridge**

Wilson and Natalie had followed Cuddy back to her room after the scene in the garage.

"Don't worry Lisa," Natalie said after they all made it into the room. "I'll be a character witness for you at the murder trial."

"Why does he do that?" Cuddy asked. "Why does he always have to hurt House?"

"I guess it makes him feel like a big man," Natalie said.

"From now on we have to make sure that they are never left in a room alone together," Cuddy said.

"I think we have to keep Blythe between them at all times," Wilson said. "I don't want to get in-between those two."

"Why did John call me a slut?" Cuddy asked. "What did he say?"

"He pretty much said that since you are older and not married that you are a slut face," Natalie said.

"House defended you, though," Wilson said.

"John also said that you show too much boob," Natalie said.

"He didn't quite put it that way, though," Wilson said.

"Tonight at the barbeque I think I am just going to walk out in front of him and all of House's cousins naked," Cuddy said.

"Is this the part where I am supposed to say that is a bad idea?" Wilson asked.

"House has turned you into such a perv," Cuddy said with a smile.

"You are thinking about her naked now, aren't you?" Natalie asked.

"Of course not," Wilson said. "That is my best friend's girlfriend."

"Yeah," Cuddy said. "Like that has stopped any man." They stopped talking when a knock came at the door. Wilson opened it up.

"Are you okay?" Blythe asked Cuddy as she came in the room.

"I'm fine," Cuddy said.

"Don't mind John," Blythe said. "He can be an idiot sometimes. Also, Greg didn't mean to yell at you. He was upset."

"I know," Cuddy said.

"Go talk to him," Blythe said. "When he was younger, he used to go sit on the rocks under the bridge down the road. He probably went there."

"You should go Cuddy," Wilson said. "He needs you."

"Okay," Cuddy said.

"I want to say something before you go Lisa," Blythe said. "I think of you like a daughter and it really upsets me what John said about you. I can't control John's mouth, but I hope you know that I do not feel that way."

"I know," Cuddy said. Blythe gave her a hug.

"Don't let John scare you away from us," Blythe said. "I like seeing you and Greg and I would hate if I didn't get to see you two."

"You will always be welcome in our home Mrs. House," Cuddy said.

"Thank you," Blythe said. "Now go find my baby boy and make sure that he is okay."

Cuddy went to go find House. Cuddy took the car and drove a few blocks down the road until she saw the bridge. Cuddy parked the car and headed under the bridge. Sure enough, House was sitting on the rocks below it. Cuddy carefully walked on the rocks towards House. House looked up and saw Cuddy coming towards him. House kept an eye on her to make sure that she made it to him safely.

Cuddy sat down on a rock next to House. They sat in silence for awhile looking at the water in front of them.

"I am sorry I yelled at you," House finally said quietly.

"It's okay," Cuddy said. "Natalie heard what happened in the garage."

"I shouldn't have yelled at you, though," House said.

"No, you shouldn't have," Cuddy said. "You said you are sorry, though, and I accept it because I know you mean it." House turned and pulled Cuddy into his arms.

"I wish that we were the only two people in the world," House said. "Then we would not have to deal with other people annoying us."

"I could live with that," Cuddy said. "As long as we could include our baby in the mix."

"That's fine with me," House said. "My mom will have to be with us then. She kind of knows that you are pregnant and I would hate to take that away from her."

"You told her?" Cuddy asked House.

"No," House said. "She kind of figured it out and I couldn't lie to her when she directly asked me."

"Figured it out?" Cuddy said.

"I think I get my genius from her," House said.

"I guess I should have figured out that she knew," Cuddy said. "I remembering thinking that it was a little odd that she kept trying to force food down my face this morning and she said I looked really beautiful today."

"You are going to get a lot of attention from her this weekend, so be prepared to be pampered," House said.

"We should head back," Cuddy said. "We can come back here later, though, if you like."

"I don't want to see my dad," House said. "He was so rude about you."

"You don't think I am a slut, do you?" Cuddy asked.

"Of course not!" House said.

"Then it doesn't matter what he says," Cuddy said. "Plus, if he is mean again, then we will tell your mommy and she will make it better."

"She won't hit him, though," House said.

"If he is too mean, then Natalie and I will pound him," Cuddy said.

"I would rather just see you and Natalie fighting," House said. "Preferably naked."

"Yes, because when women fight, they always have to take off their clothes," Cuddy said.

"They can't rip their clothes!" House said.

"Men and their reasoning," Cuddy said.


	10. Girlfriend

_I had a really fun 4th of July and saw many great fireworks._

**Girlfriend**

House and Cuddy made their way back up the rocks to the rental car. Cuddy had the stop at the local store before they went home to get some hard candy. Cuddy knew that having something to suck on would help control her nausea. House told her that he knew something that she could suck on, but Cuddy did not think that would help. House told her that it never hurt to try.

When they entered the small store, Cuddy went to find some hard candy and House went to find some Doritos.

"Poop," House said when they saw that they were out. "This town needs to leave the 1960's and get an actual grocery store."

"Greg House?" House heard a woman say behind him. House turned around and looked at the woman.

"Depends on who's asking," House said.

"You don't know who I am?" She asked him. House looked her over and tried to remember.

"You kind of look like Jillian Michaels off The Biggest Loser," House said. "I don't remember meeting her, though."

"Veronica George," she said as if House should have known.

"Ronnie?" House asked in shock. "Wow. Have you been working out for the last 20 years? You are incredibly toned!"

"When I went to college I did not know what I wanted to be, so since I always loved gym class, I decided to become a gym teacher," Ronnie said.

"Your students must be in shape," House said.

"I try to get them to be," Ronnie said. "Unfortunately, I have the parents that complain if their kids break out in the littlest of sweats."

"I am sure they get enough exercise lifting up Twinkies at home," House said. Ronnie laughed.

"So what do you do?" Ronnie asked.

"I'm a doctor," House said.

"_Really_?" Ronnie asked. "I can't believe we actually had a doctor come from this town."

"_World-renowned_ doctor," House said, bragging on himself.

"You always were the smartest in the class," Ronnie said.

"House, did you find what you wanted?" Cuddy asked as she came around the corner.

"No, they were out," House said. "I want you to meet someone. This is Ronnie George."

"Nice to meet you," Cuddy said, shaking the woman's hand.

"She was my first girlfriend," House said.

"I am glad that I get to hold that title," Ronnie said.

"Ronnie, this is Lisa Cuddy," House said. "She is my current girlfriend."

"I think he meant to say his last girlfriend ever," Cuddy said to Ronnie.

"She says it like it means that we will be together forever, but what she really means is that she it going to kill me when it is over," House said.

"Yeah," Cuddy said nodding her head in agreement.

"I really hope you two are joking because I do not want to be called to testify in two years because I heard this conversation," Ronnie said.

"At least you will get to see what Princeton, New Jersey looks like," House said.

"Is that where you live?" Ronnie asked him.

"Yep," House said. "Cuddy and I work at the teaching hospital there."

"Are you a doctor too?" Ronnie asked Cuddy.

"She is the Dean of Medicine," House said. "The boss lady."

"I guess brains attract brains," Ronnie said.

"We should go House," Cuddy said. "Your mom is probably freaking out about where we are."

"How long are you in town?" Ronnie asked House.

"We leave tomorrow night," House said.

"We should have lunch tomorrow then," Ronnie said.

"I'll have to see what my parents have planned," House said.

"That's fine," Ronnie said. Ronnie took out a piece of paper and wrote her number down. "Call me. It was nice to meet you Lisa." Ronnie smiled at them and then left. Cuddy paid for her candy and then they headed back to the car.

"So why did you two break up?" Cuddy asked House about Ronnie.

"My dad got shipped overseas again and we had to move away for 4 months," House said.

"You were only gone for 4 months," Cuddy said. "She couldn't wait for you?"

"We were actually supposed to be gone for two years," House said. "She didn't think she was going to see me again, so she moved on. She told me that she would break up with her boyfriend, but I told her not too."

"Why?" Cuddy asked.

"I was angry with her," House said. "At the time I thought she was the love of my life and I couldn't understand how she could even think about having another boyfriend."

"Was this Gregory's first heartbreak?" Cuddy asked in a teasing manner.

"Yes, it was," House said as he pretended to wipe away a tear. "I got over it in about a week, though. A new girl moved here and she was super hot."

"Did she help kiss away your pain?" Cuddy asked teasingly again.

"Are you kidding?" House asked. "A super hot chick was not going to go out with a super-smart dork. Girls don't dig brains until they hit college."

"I think Ronnie still has a crush on you," Cuddy said.

"I'm a stud," House said. "All the girls in town would be dying to go out with me now. All I can tell them is too late too late. Lisa Cuddy has already called dibs on me."

"I surprised you have not paraded me around town to tell people that," Cuddy said.

"That is my plans for tomorrow," House said. "Come see Gregory House's girlfriend with the incredible ass!"

"I said parade me around town," Cuddy said. "I didn't say put me into a circus."

"I guess I will have to go get a marching band for the parade then," House said.


	11. Welcome To My Life

_Another great chapter for your reading pleasure. Review me up Scotty!_

**Welcome To My Life**

When House and Cuddy returned home, Wilson and Natalie were sitting on the front porch talking.

"Yah," Natalie said in a monotone voice when House and Cuddy got out of the car. "You found him."

"You know you missed me," House said.

"Yeah, we did," Wilson said. "If you are not here to pick on, your dad will turn on us."

"He might turn on you with me here, so don't think you are out of the woods yet," House said.

"Your aunt and uncle will be here soon, so hopefully that means he won't pick on us," Wilson said. "Is this your funny uncle?"

"No," House said. "This is my dad's brother. They are pretty similar. My aunt is a little loopy, but she is really nice. My cousin was a big creep growing up, but I haven't seen him in years." Blythe then came out the front door.

"Everyone needs to come in and freshen themselves up," Blythe said. "Your Uncle Warren and the rest will be here soon." They all made their way into the house to get ready. Blythe stopped House as he came in. "Are you okay?" She asked him.

"I'm fine mom," House said. Blythe gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Go put on a dress shirt," Blythe said.

"Yes, mom," House said.

When they all got done cleaning up, they came back into the living room. John came in and sat down, but did not say anything to anyone.

"A few quick things," Blythe said as she entered the room. "Your cousin Cory lost his job. Try not to mention work too much. I know that you have not met his wife Denise, so just remember that she is a very quiet person and does not talk very much. There son Freddie is 15 and he is blind. He lost his eyesight when he was 5 when the car that he was in got hit by a drunk driver. They taught him to do things by himself, so don't help him with something unless he needs help. Everyone understand?" Everyone nodded their heads yes. They all set in an uncomfortable silence for a few moments.

"I met House's first girlfriend," Cuddy said, trying to break the silence.

"What was she like?" Wilson asked.

"She was surprisingly normal," Cuddy said.

"Which girl was this?" Blythe asked.

"Ronnie George," House said.

"Was she the real boney one?" John asked.

"Yeah," House said. "Believe me when I tell you that she is not so boney anymore." Cuddy turned and gave House a look. "I mean I do not remember what she looks like now," House said.

"I am sure she is nowhere as pretty as Lisa," Blythe said causing Cuddy to smile.

"I think I am going to vomit," Natalie said.

"You are pretty too Natalie," House said. "Just in your own weird way." Natalie grabbed House's forearm and dug her nails into it. "Ow!" House said as he shoved Natalie into Wilson.

"Stop roughhousing on my couch," John said. The doorbell than rang and Blythe got up to answer it. Blythe greeted everyone at the door and then led them into the living room.

"That cannot seriously be little Greggy?" House's Aunt Abby said when she came into the living room.

"He is big Greggy now," Natalie said. House got up and gave his aunt a hug.

"He is so big and handsome," Abby said. "Is this your girlfriend?"

"Thankfully no," House said about Natalie as he motioned for Cuddy to get up. "This is my girlfriend Lisa." Cuddy got up and shook hands with her.

"You have the most beautiful hair," Abby said.

"She is so smart that even her scalp was smart enough to grow great hair," House said, causing Abby to break out in a laughing fit.

"John, he should have been a comedian instead of a doctor," Abby said.

"He is just on big joke," John said. Cuddy wrapped her arm around House's waist to tell him not to start it with his father now.

"So this is Greg?" Warren said as he walked over to House. "I thought you said he was a doctor? With that beard he looks more like a hobo."

"I wanted to be both," House said, causing Abby to start laughing again.

"You got yourself a pretty lady, though," Warren said as he looked Cuddy up and down.

"Thank you," Cuddy said, feeling a little creeped out. As House's aunt and uncle went to met Wilson and Natalie, House and Cuddy went to go talk to his cousin.

"I can't believe that is the same skinny runt that I once shoved into a dryer," Cory said. Cory had only grown to be about 5'8."

"I took Flintstone Vitamins," House said.

"This is my wife Denise," Cory said.

"Hi," Denise said shyly.

"This is Lisa Cuddy," House said, introducing her.

"It is a pleasure to meet all of you," Cuddy said.

"That is because you haven't had to actually spend time with us yet," Cory said jokingly. "I am going to go say hi to Uncle John now." Denise followed Cory to John.

"I'm Freddie," House's second cousin said as he stuck on his hand.

"Greg," House said as he shook the boy's hand.

"You have a strong handshake," Freddie said.

"I have to use a cane so my right hand is pretty strong," House said.

"Why do you have to use a cane?" Freddie asked.

"I had an infarction in my leg," House said. "That's tissue death."

"That sounds kind of gross," Freddie said.

"It isn't really," House said. "It did change the rest of my life, though."

"I understand what you mean about that," Freddie said. "I was in a drunk driving accident when I was 5 and have been blind since."

"Mrs. House told us that you really learned how to do things on your own, so that is really good," Cuddy said.

"I had to," Freddie said. "Dad did not want me to be dependant on anyone. He had a hard time dealing with my disability. He and Grandpa Warren used to go do a lot of athletic stuff together and I can't do that."

"There is more to being father and son than just playing sports together," Cuddy said. "You just have to find different common ground together."

"I'm more like my mom," Freddie said.

"I am sure Greg understands that," Cuddy said. "He is not really anything like his father."

"Well, I hope I end up finding a wonderful wife like you," Freddie said.

"You know that she is a doctor and you are trying to get Ipod money, aren't you?" House asked.

"No," Freddie said. "I wouldn't turn it down if you offered it to me, though."

"I can tell you are a House," Cuddy said. "You have that House charm."

"That means when you are older, you are going to be one lucky stud with the ladies," House said.

"I am blind, though, so I might not be as lucky," Freddie said.

"So what?" House said. "I have a cane and I am a jerk and the ladies still love me."

"I hate to admit it, but it is true," Cuddy said.


	12. Let's Give Them Something To Talk About

_I was so happy that USA showed three episodes of House last night!_

**Let's Give Them Something To Talk About**

After the initial met and greet, the group broke up into three different groups. John, Warren, Cory, and Denise went to the backyard to start the grill. Blythe, Abby, Cuddy, and Natalie went into the kitchen to help Blythe bake cookies. House, Wilson, and Freddie stayed in the living room.

"Why didn't your mom go with the rest of the girls?" House asked Freddie.

"She goes wherever dad goes," Freddie said. "She doesn't really like people."

"That's understandable," House said. "People suck."

"Not all people," Wilson said. "Just you."

"Since you can't see Freddie, I am going to tell you that I am about to smack him across the face with my can," House said.

"Are you guys are best friends?" Freddie asked.

"Til death do us part," Wilson said. "It will most likely be his because Cuddy will kill him."

"Really?" Freddie asked. "She seems so nice."

"She is," House said. "I am just _that_ big of a jerk."

"I hear wind chimes," Freddie said out of the blue.

"They're in the back hard," House said. "My mom loves the sound of them."

"She must because they were about to drive me nuts last night while I tried to sleep," Wilson said.

"So do you have like super hearing?" House asked Freddie.

"It is not better than most people's, except that I know how to use it better," Freddie said.

"If I dropped a pin right now, would you be able to hear it?" House asked.

"I would if it was a ballpoint pen," Freddie said. "I am pretty sure that you could hear that too."

"And there is the House smart mouthyness coming out of him," Wilson said.

"I know," House said. "I am so proud. So what kind of music do you listen too. If I was you, music would be my life."

"It is your life now," Wilson said.

"Not totally," House said. "I like my TV too."

"I like The Raconteurs, The Automatic Automatic, Rooney, The Strokes," Freddie said. "Music like that."

"I have never heard of any of those bands," Wilson said.

"That's because you are a big L 7," House said.

"L 7?" Wilson asked.

"A square," House said as he made an L with one hand and a 7 with the other to form a square.

"Stay away from him Freddie," Wilson said shaking his head. "He is a bad influence."

"It is kind of sad that he is saying that before I even pop out the liquor," House said.

"If you are a strong enough person that you can hang out with whoever you want because you are strong enough to avoid peer pressure," Freddie said.

"That must explain why Cuddy is not totally addicted to pain pills right now," Wilson said.

*******************************************

In the kitchen, the girls were talking and making cookies.

"So Lisa, do you parents like Greg pretty well?" Abby asked Cuddy.

"He's growing on them," Cuddy said.

"Greg hasn't done anything to upset them has he?" Blythe asked.

"He didn't do anything," Cuddy said. "My parents are just picky people."

"What don't they like about him?" Blythe asked.

"My dad is a doctor, so he had heard some of the stories about House and how he treats his patients," Cuddy said. "They have spent enough time with him now that they realize that he is not the same person at the hospital that he is at home."

"That's good," Blythe said. "I'd really loved to meet them sometime."

"I am sure that you will end up meeting them," Cuddy said. "My mom will spend the whole time talking about how House and I should get married."

"They should just realize that House will not be happy if they get married," Natalie said.

"What do you mean?" Blythe asked. "Lisa can make Greg happy."

"Not according to Jimmy Soul," Natalie said.

"Who's that?" Abby asked.

"A singer," Natalie said. "Natalie then started to sing a song.

_If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life  
Never make a pretty woman your wife  
So for my personal point of view  
Get an ugly girl to marry you_

"Lisa is too good-looking," Natalie said. "Greg could never be happy." Cuddy gave Natalie a quick shove.

"I thought you were being serious," Cuddy said.

"I know," Natalie said. "You should have seen the look on all of your faces."

"Don't let your mother guilt you into getting married," Abby said. "If you guys are ever going to get married, it needs to be your decision."

"I don't think you are going to get Mrs. House to agree to that one," Natalie said. "I think she believes in the 'listen to your mother' theory."

"I do," Blythe said. "Your mother sounds like a very smart woman."

"As soon as Warren and I got married his mother started in on the baby talk," Abby said. "You are going to wish for the pressure of marriage back when that starts to happen." Cuddy could see Blythe smiling out the corner of her eye.

"Her mom already started in on that too," Natalie said.

"You just need to tell your mom to wait and good things will happen," Blythe said.

"You couldn't' tell my mother-in-law that," Abby said. "It took us 5 years to have Cory and I heard about it almost every single day before I got pregnant. I thought she was going to have an aneurysm when we actually told her that we were pregnant."

"I am afraid my mom will die if I ever tell her that news," Cuddy said.

"At least you know that she would die happy," Blythe said with a smile.


	13. I Think We're Alone Now

_It is freaking hot here in Kansas again. I am in love with the person that invited the air-conditioner._

**I Think We're Alone Now**

When the cookies were done, Blythe had everyone go meet up in the backyard. House headed straight for the cookies. He then quickly popped a whole on in this mouth.

"Don't eat so fast or you will get a stomach ache," Cuddy said to House.

"Are you her boyfriend or her kid?" Cory asked with a laugh.

"He's picking on me," House whined to Cuddy.

"Stop bickering boys," Abby said.

"Yeah," Cory said with a smile as he gave House a slight shove in the arm. "Stop bickering with me."

"I'm bigger than you now," House said. "I can take you."

"Let's go then wise-guy," Corry said with the same smirk on his face as he gave House another playful shove.

"There will be no fighting at my house," Blythe said.

"They're not fighting," Warren said. "They just need to let out some of their testosterone."

"You guys can't fight," John said. "I don't need Blythe to see her son get the crap beat out of him."

"Thanks for the support dad," House said.

"There is no way you can beat him with your dysfunctional leg," John said.

"I think that was a dare," Cory said. "Come on. Unless you are chicken, that is."

"Okay," House said. "Let's go."

"Stop!" Cuddy said as she jumped in-between the two.

"Move out of the way pretty lady," Cory said. "We are just playing. I won't really hurt him."

"No," Cuddy said. "I know that somehow his leg is going to get hurt and I do not want to see him in that pain."

"I'll avoid his leg," Cory said. "I play fair."

"House," Cuddy said, looking into his eyes.

"I won't fight him," Cuddy said. Cory started to make chicken noises.

"Cut it out Cory," Abby said. "What does getting into a fight with him prove? If you two fight, than either you will lose and feel like a jackass or you will win, which I don't know if you should really brag that you beat up a man with a bad leg."

"Your mom has a point," Wilson said.

"I just wanted to wrestle like we used to," Cory said.

"I wouldn't really call what we used to do wrestling," House said. "It was more like you shoving me down and sitting on my head."

"And you know that I will beat you just like when we were younger and that is why you chickened out," Cory said. House looked at Cuddy again.

"No," Cuddy said. "Come with me." Cuddy grabbed House's arm and pulled him in to the house.

"You are not fighting him," Abby said.

"I know," Cory said. "I just like messing with him. We used to joke around like that all the time when we were kids." Wilson kind of wanted to punch Cory in the face, knowing that he was one of the reasons House turned out the way he did.

Cuddy dragged House to their room. "I know that you have a lot of anger building up inside of you on this trip, but please no fighting," Cuddy said once they entered the room and she closed the door.

"You made me look like a wuss out there," House said.

"I made you look like an adult," Cuddy said.

"That's even worse," House said.

"Please just calm down," Cuddy said. "For me." Cuddy started rubbing her hands up and down House's chest.

"Lisa Cuddy, are you trying to have sex with me?" House asked.

"No," Cuddy said. "But I do know a way to release your testosterone."

"Please say that it involves your mouth," House said.

"It does," Cuddy said.

"Please say that it requires you to be on your knees," House said.

"It isn't technically a requirement," Cuddy said. "It is one of the options, though."

"I like that option," House said.

"You do, do you?" Cuddy asked as she gave House a light shove to get him to back up to the bed. House willingly backed up until he sat down on the bed. Cuddy knelt down in front of House. House smiled down at Cuddy as she undid his zipper. House helped Cuddy pull down his pants and boxers far enough until his erection came free. Cuddy took House's erection in his hand and started stroking it. Cuddy gave House a smile as she flicked her tongue against the tip. House moaned from the feeling.

"Do you like that?" Cuddy asked House. As House nodded his head yes, Cuddy started to suck on House's tip. House closed his eyes as Cuddy moved more and more of him into her mouth. House opened his eyes again when Cuddy started to bob her head up and down in House's lap.

House put his hand on the back of Cuddy's head, applying a little pressure. Cuddy ended up taking House deep into her throat. House felt himself get closer and closer as Cuddy's warm mouth surrounded him. Cuddy sucked frantically on House as her head moved up and down until House came into her mouth. Cuddy pumped every ounce out of House.

House collapsed down on the bed when Cuddy was done. "Was that a nice release?" Cuddy asked House with a smile.

"The best," House said.

"It is a lot better than fighting, isn't it?" Cuddy asked.

"You are not going to go do this to Cory too, are you?" House asked.

"No," Cuddy said. "He doesn't have those gorgeous House blue eyes."

"He doesn't realize how unlucky he is," House said.


	14. What's My Age Again?

_Yeah! It's Friday!_

**What's My Age Again?**

Cuddy quickly got up from between House's legs when she heard someone stomping down the hall. House would have normally joked that he was not going to pull his pants up, but he knew that it could be his mother coming down the hall and he did not want all three of them to be traumatized.

"It's Wilson!" Wilson yelled through the door. "Are you two having sex in there?"

"Yes!" House yelled as Cuddy opened the door.

"I see Jeanie came and magically put your clothes back on," Wilson said.

"We know that is not true because Cuddy is the only one that calls me Master," House said. "Plus, I never said what kind of sex we were having. Cuddy, don't you need to go brush your teeth?" Wilson walked over and picked up the wastebasket by the desk and pretended to start hurling in it.

"Your mom wanted me to come get you two," Wilson said as he put the wastebasket back down.

"I am going to run to the bathroom really quick and then I will be out," Cuddy said as she headed to the bathroom.

"So were you guys really having fun in here?" Wilson asked.

"You little sneak," House said. "I see how it is. Wait until Cuddy leaves the room to get the juicy details."

"I told you that I don't like talking about you guys sex life in front of her," Wilson said. "It makes me very uncomfortable."

"That is because you have never had her whisper dirty things in your ear," House said.

"I chose to believe that does not speak of those things," Wilson said. "It keeps me from thinking inappropriate thoughts about her."

"You better not be having any inappropriate thoughts," House said.

"I don't know," Wilson said. "Some nights I get lonely."

"You are going to die," House said a step towards Wilson, causing him to run out of the room.

"Why didn't you go with Wilson?" Cuddy asked House when she exited the bathroom a few minutes later.

"Because I knew that you would want to stop me from beating his face in," House said.

"I am getting close to getting you trained," Cuddy said.

"You are nowhere near, but I have improved," House said.

"That's still an accomplishment," Cuddy said as they left the bedroom and headed back outside.

"You guys want to play football?" Warren asked House and Cuddy when they came out.

"Not with my leg," House said. House knew for a fact that Cory would tackle him if he got the chance.

"I'll play," Cuddy said.

"We have seven people playing," Cory said. "One person needs to be quarterback for both sides."

"I'll be it," Cuddy said.

"Can you throw?" Cory asked.

"Just give me the ball," Cuddy said.

"John, Cory, and Abby on one team and me, Natalie, and Wilson on the other," Warren said. House, Blythe, Freddie, and Denise sat in lawn chairs watching them play.

"Should Lisa really be playing?" Blythe asked House.

"She is just throwing the ball," House said. "There is no tackling the quarterback when you play three versus three plus one."

Cuddy lined up with John, Cory, and Abby on offense first. Cory hiked Cuddy the ball and then three of them went deep. When John got open, Cuddy through the ball down the field and directly to him.

"Goodness gracious great balls of fire that was a good throw!" Cory said. "She looks like a woman, but she has a man's arm!"

"I think that means that you should mess with her," Wilson said. They all kept playing for about an hour. Warren, Natalie, and Wilson ended up winning the game. When of the main reasons they won was because Natalie covered Cory and she kept tickling him and throwing her body into him when the ball was thrown to him.

"They only won because she kept fouling me," Cory said.

"Can the big strong man not handle a little girl hitting him?" Natalie teased him.

"No," Cory said.

"I am ready to die of heat stroke now," Wilson said.

"I know," Cuddy said. "I am so hot."

"Stop bragging on yourself," House said. "We all know that you are hot." Blythe went and got everyone some lemonade to cool them down. House had another idea on how to cool everyone down. Well, he at least knew how he wanted to cool Cuddy down. House got up and turned on the water hose.

"Cuddy?" House said causing her to turn around and look at him. House shot her with the water hose when she had fully turned to look at him.

"House!" Cuddy said as ran away from the water.

"I wanted to cool you down," House said, not being able to control his laughter. Natalie snuck up behind House and wrapped her arms around him to pin his arms to his body.

"I got him Lisa!" Natalie said as House tried to fight her off him. Cuddy ran over and grabbed the water hose from House. Cuddy then shoved the water hose down House's pants.

"Damn that's cold!" House yelled.

"Aren't you going to help your friend?" Cory asked Wilson.

"He's on his own," Wilson said. "I do not want those two turning on me."


	15. Crash And Burn

_I love that my public library has gotten TV shows on DVD. It helps me watch so many shows that I have missed over the years!_

**Crash And Burn**

After letting House squirm for awhile, Cuddy finally pulled the hose from his pants. "How did you like that for karma, chameleon?" Cuddy asked House with a smile.

"I didn't like it," House said.

"I liked it," Natalie said as she still hung onto House.

"That's just because you like to feel me up," House said.

"I know," Natalie said. "It's fun." Natalie started rubbing her hands around on House's chest.

"Get off me!" House said as he was finally able to shake Natalie free. House went and sat down in a lawn chair.

"I like how you sit down like your parents aren't soaking wet," Abby said.

"Like this is the first time this has happened," House said.

Natalie moved in front of Cuddy to whisper something to her.

"I thought of a way to get even with John for his comment earlier," Natalie whispered.

"How?" Cuddy asked interested.

"Unbutton your shirt so they can see your bra and then squeeze out the front of your shirt," Natalie said. "He'll just die."

"Okay," Cuddy said, trying to hold in her laughter. Cuddy walked more towards the group again.

"At least the sun should dry my clothes pretty quickly," Cuddy said as she unbuttoned her and then squeezed out her shirt. Natalie almost burst out laughing when she saw every man turn and watch Cuddy. House turned and looked at Natalie, knowing exactly what they were up to. Natalie gave House a big smile.

"That should help," Cuddy said innocently as she finished squeezing her shirt, acting like she didn't know that every man was staring at her.

"I think we should play more water games," Cory said as Cuddy buttoned her shirt only half-way back up. Denise gave Cory a smack in the arm. Cuddy went and squeezed herself onto the lawn chair with House.

"Aren't you going to squeeze my pants dry?" House asked Cuddy.

"Watch the gutter mouth Greg," John said.

"It seems like you are the one who's mind is in the gutter," House said.

"Do you guys have a hot tub at home?" Cory asked House.

"No," House said. "Why?"

"You should definitely get her one for Christmas," Cory said.

"I don't plan on giving her a Christmas present," House said.

"You can't really use the excuse that you forgot if you tell her beforehand that you are going to forget it," Warren said.

"He's just joking," Cuddy said. "He's not going to get me a Christmas present because I am Jewish."

"You're Jewish?" Warren asked. "I thought you people just dated your own kind."

"You people?" Cuddy asked.

"The Jews," Warren said.

"We are allowed to date anyone," Cuddy said.

"Isn't it a little weird dating a Catholic, though," Warren said.

"I don't get what you mean," Cuddy said.

"Well, Jesus is a major part of one and not of the other," Warren said.

"And if I actually went to church every week, that might matter," House said. "I also remembering reading somewhere and I forget where, that Jesus was a Jew."

"So if you guys have kids, what are they going to be?" Warren asked.

"Humans," House said. "Unless she is still secretly dating Mork from Ork."

"We will teach them about both of the religions," Cuddy said.

"So they are going to be half-and-half?" Warren asked. "You think that they will half-believe so they will only half-go-to-hell?"

"You think Lisa and Wilson are going to hell because they are Jewish?" Natalie asked.

"You're Jewish too?" Warren asked Wilson.

"The Jews love me," House said. "What can I say?"

"I think we need to stop with this conversation," Abby said. "Even if we do not believe what they believe, it is not our place to judge."

"It is not like I am trying to force my beliefs on you guys," Cuddy said. Blythe walked out with the drinks and heard the annoyance in Cuddy's voice.

"What did you say to her?" Blythe asked John.

"Nothing," John said. "It was all Warren this time."

"I was just asking if your future grandchildren might be Jewish," Warren said.

"It is up to them how they want to raise them," Blythe said. "I am going to love my grandchildren no matter what. I think we need to make a new rule. Let's treat Lisa like she was my daughter. As a mother, no one is to be mean to my children. If you are, you will have to deal with me."

"She'll cut you like a bitch!" House said.

"Greg," Blythe said. "Watch your mouth."

"Fine," House said. "She'll cut you like a witch!"


	16. We Like To Party!

_I got my free fish taco today at Long John Silvers. It was delicious._

**We Like To Party!**

"I think it is time for me to put the meat on the grill," John said.

"Those are some words that I love to hear!" House said.

"Good," John said. "You can help me."

"Those aren't words I like to hear," House said. Cuddy got up so that House could get up.

"Be nice to him John," Blythe said.

"I will be," John said. John handed House the thongs. "Pretend like I am not here and make them."

"Can't I just do the first part of pretending you are not here?" House asked.

"Greg," Blythe said. "Don't push it with him." House started cooking on the grill as his father watched.

"There is nothing like seeing a father and son bonding moment," Cuddy said as she wiped away a fake tear.

"I'm going to need a beer," John said.

"I second that," Warren said.

"Two is you guy's limit," Blythe said.

"Five is mine and Lisa's," Natalie said. Blythe gave Cuddy the 'you better not be drinking' look.

"I have a rule of no alcohol at family functions," Cuddy said.

"Does that mean no stripper dances?" House asked.

"Yes, it does," Cuddy said.

"Do you guys have a radio so we can play some music?" Natalie asked.

"That sounds like a really great idea," Freddie said.

"John has a boom box in the garage," Blythe said.

"I saw it when we were out there earlier," Wilson said. "I'll go get it." Wilson went and grabbed it.

"No disco," Natalie said.

"I guess that rules out the Bee Gees," House said.

"Only later Bee Gees," Natalie said.

"I call to rule out all Bee Gees," Freddie said.

"Kids these days," House said.

"Just find some kind of music," Cuddy said as she walked over to Wilson and started messing with the dial. Cuddy stopped on Hangin Around by the Counting Crows.

"I love this song!" Freddie said.

"A little country-rock sound to please everyone," Cuddy said. Cuddy turned and looked at Wilson standing next to her. "My eyes are up here Wilson," Cuddy said when she noticed Wilson having a hard time looking up from her chest.

"Your eyes are nice too," Wilson said with a slightly embarrassed laugh as he looked back up at Cuddy eyes. Cuddy smiled and gave Wilson a kiss on the cheek.

"I taking this as I cue that I need to button my shirt back up," Cuddy said.

"That was not what I was trying to say," Wilson said. "You might want to, though, if you do want people to actually look at your face."

"Okay," Cuddy said with a laugh as she buttoned her shirt all the way back up again.

"Cuddy," House said, causing Cuddy to turn around. "Stop flirting with Wilson and hand me the lighter fluid."

"Jealous?" Cuddy asked as he grabbed the light fluid and brought it over to House.

"No," House said as he took the light fluid from her.

"Is he gay?" Cory asked House about Wilson.

"No," House said with a laugh.

"Then I would be jealous," Cory said.

"Why?" House asked. "She would never even think of leaving the wonder of me." House shot some lighter fluid onto the grill, causing a huge flame to shoot up. "Cool," House said.

"You are going to burn them if you are not careful," John said.

"I know what I am doing," House said.

"I guess you are right," Cory said. "I don't know why she would ever think of leaving you."

"I would never leave him," Cuddy said as she wrapped her arms around House.

"You see?" House said. "You just have to make sure that your woman knows her place." Cuddy started to squeeze House. "Her place is as the boss," House said in a strained voice. "Stop squeezing me now woman!"

"I was just giving you a hug," Cuddy said.

"A hug?" House said. "My liver is on the other side of my spine now."

"I saw how she throws a football," Cory said. "Stop feeding her spinach."

"I think she is on steroids," House said.

"I have noticed that my testicles have gotten smaller," Cuddy said.

"I am done with this conversation," John said as she walked away.

"Way to freak out my dad," House said. "I _so_ love you right now!"


	17. There's A Moon Out Tonight

**There's A Moon Out Tonight**

They all spent the rest of the time at the barbeque talking and listening to music. They also spent some time throwing the football around some more.

At 8:30, John announced that they would be sleeping outside in tents. House protested, but John said they had to because it was tradition. Blythe told Cuddy that she didn't have to sleep outside if she didn't want to, but Cuddy said that she had never been camping and she thought it would be fun. John only had four tents so everyone had to cram into them. John and Blythe shared a tent, Warren and Abby shared a tent, Cory, Denise, and Freddie shared a tent, and finally House, Cuddy, Wilson, and Natalie shared a tent.

"You guys don't mind if I do Cuddy with you in there, do you?" House asked Wilson and Natalie.

"I don't mind at all," Natalie said.

"As long as you beat me in the skull with a hammer first," Wilson said.

"That can be done," House said. House was the only one that was sleeping in his tent that had been camping before, so he was the one that had to put the tent up. While the others put their tents closer to the house, House put their tent closer to the woods behind his parent's house so it would be more like a camping trip.

"There isn't any wild animals in these woods, are there?" Wilson asked.

"Squirrels," House said. "You have to be careful or they will go after your nuts."

"At least they are small enough to be beat with something," Wilson said.

"Are you talking about the squirrels or your nuts?" House asked.

"You think I am going to beat my nuts?" Wilson asked. "Shut up!" Wilson could see the dirty joke running through House's mind.

"You are the one talking about beating it," House said.

"All this just from asking if there were any animals in the woods," Wilson said.

"There are also skunks out there," House said.

"That will be a pleasant smell in the middle of the night," Wilson said.

"There are some giant spiders out there too," House said.

"What?" Natalie asked. "Can you repeat that?"

"Don't worry," House said. "The snakes will eat the spiders." Natalie picked up her sleeping bag to head back to the house.

"He's joking," Cuddy said.

"We can go with that," House said.

"If I see a snake, I am feeding you to him," Natalie said to House.

"I can tell that all of you grew up in the city," House said. "Wilson, go get some branched from the woods to build a fire.

"Hell no," Wilson said.

"Wuss," House said as he limped into the woods and grabbed some branches. Cuddy watched House amazed as he built a fire.

"You are pretty good at that," Cuddy said. "Did you go camping a lot as you grew up?"

"My dad would drag me and my mom on a camping trip every year," House said. "He thought it would make me into a man."

"Do you have any marshmallows?" Natalie asked. "On TV, people always have marshmallows when they go camping."

"I am sure my mom might have some," House said.

"I'll go ask her," Cuddy said. Cuddy headed over to Blythe, who was watching John put up their tent.

"You need something Lisa?" Blythe asked Cuddy when she saw her approaching.

"Do you have any marshmallows?" Cuddy asked.

"Yeah," Blythe said. "I'll go get them for you." Cuddy stood and watched John put his tent together.

"You seem to be looking forward to sleeping outside more than Greg is," John said to Cuddy.

"I've never camping, so I do not know if I hate it," Cuddy said. "My dad always dad that you have to be willing to try new things."

"You guys just be careful if you will be hanging around a fire," John said.

"Okay," Cuddy said. If Cuddy didn't know better, it sounded like John actually said something that showed that he might care.

"Here you go Lisa," Blythe said as she handed her the marshmallows. "You guys have fun and be careful."

"You too," Cuddy said. "Good night." Cuddy headed back to her tent. They all sat around the fire.

"So is where we are supposed to tell scary stories?" Natalie asked.

"I have a story," House said. "One day this woman woke up and saw that she had a zit on her face. Throughout the day it got bigger and bigger, so she figured it was a cyst zit. That night before she went to bed, it started to itch. She could see a whitehead on it, so she figured she should try to pop it. She squeezed it until it finally popped. After it popped, she saw a bunch of tiny spiders run out of it."

"Oh no, you did not just tell that story after telling us that there were giant spiders in the woods," Natalie said.

"Pleasant dreams," House said in his Boris Karloff voice.

"Stop talking like that!" Natalie said.

"Why?" House asked, still talking in Boris's voice. "Does it freak you out?"

"Yes!" Natalie said.

"It doesn't freak me out," Cuddy said. "It just makes me think of the Monster Mash."

"Easy, Igor, you impetuous young boy," House said, reciting lyrics from the song.

"No more stories about spiders or in creepy voices," Cuddy said.

"How about if I speak like Uncle Arthur?" House asked in his best Paul Lynde voice.

"That is fine because it is funny," Natalie said. "Still no more spider stories, though, or I will pee my pants."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Monster Mash is by Bobby "Boris" Pickett. Boris Karloff is from Frankenstein and Paul Lynde played Uncle Arthur on Bewitched._


	18. Spiders And Snakes

**Spiders And Snakes**

House, Cuddy, Wilson, and Natalie spent the next two hours telling stories and jokes. Finally, John screamed for them to shut the hell up and go to bed. They all unraveled their sleeping bags to get ready to go to bed.

"What?" House said when he saw Cuddy unraveling her sleeping bag. "You're sleeping in the? Mine is big enough for two."

"Okay," Cuddy said.

"Oooo," Natalie said. "Cuddling time."

"You can't join," House said. "This isn't an orgy."

"It could be," Natalie said.

"Not with House's parents lying right over there," Cuddy said.

"You notice she said no because House's parents are lying over there," Natalie said. "She didn't say never."

"I am," House said. "I am not sharing Cuddy, even if that means I have to give up my fantasy of you two making out up."

"That reminds me of that time we went to that party together," Natalie said with a smile. "You don't want to hear that story. It's time for bed."

"What?" House said. "I do want to hear that story."

"Maybe some other time," Natalie said as she climbed into the tent.

"Cuddy, is she messing with me?" House asked. "Did you two seriously make out before?"

"Let's go to bed, House," Cuddy said as she shoved him towards the tent.

"I won't be able to sleep now!" House said as he climbed in the tent. Cuddy and Wilson followed him in. House climbed into his sleeping bag and Cuddy joined him. Wilson and Natalie each climbed into their own sleeping bags.

"What is that noise?" Natalie asked when they heard a hollow knocking sound.

"It sounds like a woodpecker," House said.

"Tell Woody that we are trying to sleep," Natalie said.

"There are too many jokes running around in my mind for that one," House said.

"You mean like, I bet Cuddy has to say that a lot?" Wilson said.

"She would never say that to Woody," House said. "Right, babe?" House leaned down and gave Cuddy a huge kiss. Cuddy reached her hand up and grabbed onto the back of House's head, deepening the kiss.

"It's like watching soft porn," Natalie said as she and Wilson watched House and Cuddy.

"If House sticks his tongue any deeper down her throat he will be able to talk for her," Wilson said.

"Stop it!" Natalie said as she smacked House on the side of her face. House eased up from the kiss, biting Cuddy's bottom lip a little as he pulled away.

"Do you now see why I won't share?" House asked.

"I just don't want to hear any humping sounds when I am trying to sleep tonight," Wilson said. "I'll be looking to see if Cuddy has tent burns tomorrow. I'm going to sleep now."

"Night Wilson," House and Cuddy said together.

"That was super creepy," Wilson said.

"Everyone just shut up and go to sleep!" Natalie said.

"Yes, Mr. House," Cuddy said with a smile.

"I didn't want to tell you guys, but I bonded with him and now I want to be him," Natalie said.

"And I thought I was your role model," House said.

"I think you are starting to get soft on me," Natalie said. House reached across Cuddy and Natalie thought he was going to slap her in the face, but instead he leaned past her and he used his pinky to lightly tickle Wilson's ear. Wilson quickly slapped his ear thinking that a bug was on him.

"House!" Wilson said. "Don't do that. You will be giving me the heebie-jeebies all night.

"Fine," House said. "Sleep tight Wilson. Don't let the bed bugs crawl into your pants and molest you."

"Shut up House!" Wilson said. Wilson turned off the lantern in the tent. Everyone finally got quiet and started to fall asleep.

"Stop it!" Wilson said about 10 minutes later.

"Stop what?" Natalie asked.

"House, stop touching my back!" Wilson said.

"I'm not," House said. "Natalie is probably is trying to get a quick grab."

"I think I know that his penis is not on his back," Natalie said. Natalie reached up and turned on the lantern. "Oh crap!" Natalie screamed as she jumped up out of her sleeping bag. "Snake!" Wilson flew up to follow Natalie out of the tent. Cuddy went to get up, but House stopped her.

"It's just a baby one," House said as he got up out of the sleeping bag and grabbed the snake with his hand. House got out of the tent and chucked the snake out into the woods.

"I think I am sleeping in the house tonight," Natalie said.

"I second that," Wilson said.

"Wimps," House said as he crawled back into the tent.

"Did you get rid of it?" Cuddy asked.

"Yeah," House said as he zipped the tent and made sure that it was completely closed. "We just didn't close the tent tight enough."

"I know you planned this," Cuddy said.

"I planned a snake sneaking into the tent?" House asked.

"To get me alone," Cuddy said.

"I like how that sounds," House said he climbed back into the sleeping bag with Cuddy.

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_I don't know. I am thinking smut chapter next chapter._


	19. Hot And Bothered

_Sorry I did not get to post on Friday, but the budget meeting ran long. Hopefully, this chapter is super good and will make up for it!_

**Hot And Bothered**

House got back into the sleeping bag and laid down on Cuddy. House then started kissing Cuddy's neck.

"That feels nice," Cuddy said. House moved his mouth up to Cuddy's ear and started kissing it and blowing into it.

"Getting hot and bothered?" House asked Cuddy.

"You always make me hot and bothered," Cuddy said.

"That was totally the right answer," House said as he moved his lips to Cuddy's. Cuddy wrapped her arms around House to bring him closer to her. The spend some time making out before House starts to move down Cuddy's body. Cuddy smiled as she watched House disappear in their sleeping bag. Cuddy couldn't see House, but she could sure tell what he was doing. Cuddy felt House push her shirt up. House then undid Cuddy's bra. House slowly ran his tongue over Cuddy's nipples. Cuddy wanted to moan so loud, but she knew that she had to hold it in.

House started to lightly suck on Cuddy's nipples. The feeling started to drive Cuddy wild. Cuddy could feel House starting to grind his erection against her leg. After what House thought was plenty of time spent on Cuddy's breasts, his hands moved down her body and started to pull down her shorts. House pulled down Cuddy's shorts and panties at the same time.

House came back out of the sleeping back. House's lips soon found their way to Cuddy's lips again. As House kissed Cuddy, House rubbed is hand over Cuddy's mound. House rubbed his hands in circles against Cuddy's clit. Cuddy dropped her hand down to House's, urging him to rub her harder. House put a little more pressure into his touch.

House started feeling Cuddy getting wetter and wetter. House dropped his middle finger down and slowly pushed it into Cuddy. House pumped his finger in and out of Cuddy. House then added his pointer finger with his other finger, stretching Cuddy a little bit more. Cuddy started to thrust up into House's hand to get more and more pleasure.

When House thought Cuddy was stretched and wet enough, he removed his fingers from her and undid his pants. As House pushed his pants and boxers down, Cuddy grabbed onto House's erection. Cuddy pumped House a few times to make sure that he was standing at full attention. Cuddy then positioned House against her opening.

House slowly slid himself into Cuddy, letting her feel every each of him. House then slowly pulled himself all the way out. Cuddy's nerve-ending were going wild as House once again slowly pushed himself back into her.

House continued this pace with Cuddy for a while. House then started to pick up his pace. When Cuddy started to moan slightly loader, House put his hand her face. The last thing House was for everyone to hear them having sex. He didn't really feel like traumatizing Freddie for life.

Cuddy was happy that House put his hand over her mouth because she did not know if she could control herself not to scream for everyone to hear. She didn't want everyone to come and look and see what was going on.

House could tell that Cuddy was getting closer and closer because her eyes started to roll in the back of her head. When House felt Cuddy tighten around him, he knew that she had reached her limit and he had just pushed her over. House thrusted a few more times and released himself into Cuddy.

"I think we should go camping more often," Cuddy said as they both tried to catch their breath.

"Tarzan likes having you alone in the woods," House said in his Tarzan voice.

"Jane likes being with Tarzan in the woods," Cuddy said.

"That is because Jane likes when Tarzan is naked," House said.

"Tarzan likes to see Jane naked too," Cuddy said.

"Jane's naked body makes Tarzan's body feel funny things," House said.

"I just hope that Tarzan still feels funny things for Jane's body when Jane gets bigger because of the pregnancy," Cuddy said.

"Jane pregnant?" House said. "Tarzan just remembered he has to move to the other side of the planet."

"Shut up," Cuddy said with a laugh as she shoved House off her.

"You do not have to worry about me not still liking your body," House said. "I can't wait to see your ass and breasts get bigger."

"I guess I should be happy that you like a little meat on your woman's bones," Cuddy said.

"You have to have something to grab onto," House said. "You know, this is technically our baby's first camping trip. I don't think we should tell him or her every part of this trip."

"I agree that there are things we should leave out," Cuddy said.

"Have you thought about names yet?" House asked.

"I thought that we would do that together," Cuddy said.

"I am sure that you already have some names in mind," House said. "You have probably been thinking about it for years."

"I don't want it to be just my decision, though," Cuddy said. "I want your input on the matter."

"I don't really have names I like, but I do have names I do not like," House said.

"Tell me those then," Cuddy said.

"First, no old people's names like Abraham," House said. "Plus, no names that are dogs names, like Rufus."

"But Rufus was Chaka Khan's band and that was my top name," Cuddy said with a smile.

"Third, the name Chaka Khan," House said.

"What else?" Cuddy asked.

"If it is a girl, no skanky names like Heidi," House said. "Also, the names must be spelled the traditional way, no spelling Ashley with two e's at the end."

"You have really given this some deep thought," Cuddy said.

"I don't want my kid to be beat up or be a pretentious douche bag," House said. "Another thing, if it is a boy, it will not be names Gregory."

"Why?" Cuddy asked. "I like your name."

"I don't like when people name their kids after themselves," House said. "Let the kid be their own person."

"Any other rules?" Cuddy asked.

"No really popular names, like Madison," House said. "I don't want me kid being known as Madison #."

"Anything else?" Cuddy asked with a laugh.

"If it is a boy, it will not be having a girl's name," House said. "I don't want a son named Shannon."

"What if it is both a girl's and boy's name, but it doesn't sound girly?" Cuddy asked.

"I knew it!" House said. "I knew you already had a name picked out!"

"I was still going to ask for your input," Cuddy said.

"So, what is it then?" House asked.

"Jordan," Cuddy said. "I think it is manly for a boy and pretty for a girl."

"Let's see," House said. "Not old, not a dog's name, not skanky or spelled funny, or too popular. It is a unisex name, but not too bad. I like it."

"Good," Cuddy said with a smile. "You can come up with middle names."

"For a boy, I want it to be Douglas," House said.

"Why Douglas?" Cuddy asked.

"That's my mom's maiden name," House said.

"That's sweet," Cuddy said.

"For a girl, it can be Laura after your mom," House said.

"It is like you thought Laura was a better name than Blythe," Cuddy said.

"Did you just cut down my mom's name?" House asked.

"Not intentionally," Cuddy said. "I am just saying that my mom's name is better than your mom's name."

"How mature," House said.

"Your mom has a better maiden name," Cuddy said. "I don't think we want our son's name to be Jordan Greenbaum."

"We might as well name our kid Jeff Goldblum if we were going to name him that," House said with a smile.


	20. High School Confidential

**High School Confidential**

September 2

7:00am

Cuddy woke up the next morning to the sound of crickets going wild outside. Cuddy opened her eyes to a still sleeping House. Cuddy lifted her right hand up and rubbed it against House's scruff. Cuddy liked looking at House in the morning because he always looked so peaceful.

Cuddy leaned forward and started lightly kissing House's lips. Cuddy saw House's eyes start to flutter. Cuddy then gave House's lip a light bite. House opened his eyes and looked Cuddy.

"If you are hungry, we can go get you some food," House said. "You don't have to eat my face."

"But it tastes so good," Cuddy said as she gave House another kiss.

"That is because I am made out of sugar and spice and everything nice," House said. "People will lie and tell you that is what little girls are made off, but they are lying. Some of them are possessed devils."

"I know," Cuddy said. "I have seen plenty of them in the clinic."

"And yet you still wanted to have children," House said.

"Well, if you are made out of sugar and spice, won't out kids be?" Cuddy asked.

"That is true," House said. "We do have some pretty freaking amazing genes."

"Let's go get some food," Cuddy said as she sat up.

"My mom will make us some," House said.

"I want to go out to eat with you," Cuddy said with a pout look on her face.

"Please don't teach out kid that look," House said as he sat up.

"It might be an innate look," Cuddy said.

"There are going to be a lot of people suckered by that look," House said.

"It is pretty powerful," Cuddy said.

House and Cuddy got themselves dressed and quietly made their way to their rental car. House drove Cuddy to the local dinner and they had themselves a big breakfast. Afterwards, House showed Cuddy around the town.

"This is the road is used to walk everyday to get to school," House said.

"Kicking your can?" Cuddy asked with a smile.

"I didn't grow up in the 1920's," House said. "I used to count all the cars that drove by. It helped me prevent myself from shutting myself on the long walk to school."

"My mom would drive me and my sister," Cuddy said.

"Spoiled brat," House said with a smile.

"Mom didn't think it was proper for little girls to build up a sweat," Cuddy said.

"I hope she doesn't think that about big girls," House said. "You built up quite a sweat last night."

"Since she is married and has two kids, I think she understands," Cuddy said.

"Eww," House said. "Mental image of your parents doing it."

"I love freaking you out," Cuddy said.

"I think it is time for us to change the subject," House said. "Here's where I went to high school." House pointed to a really old building.

"Was this like the first high school ever built?" Cuddy asked.

"I think it was built in 1929," House said. "It already had that old building smell when I went there."

"Pull over," Cuddy said. "I want to look at it." House pulled over and he and Cuddy looked around the campus.

"We used to have open lunch, but everything was too far to walk to, so I used to sit behind that tree and write," House said.

"Write what?" Cuddy asked.

"Anything I felt like," House said. "Sometimes it was more like a journal and other times I would sit and write songs."

"Did you keep your writings?" Cuddy asked.

"I think I still have a couple of old notebooks at home, but I throw the majority of them away," House said. "I hated high school, so I didn't want too many memories of it."

"I am sure you have some good high school memories," Cuddy said. "Tell me one."

"I remember when I was a freshman we went on a field trip and my team kicked ass," House said. "That was the last fun field trip we had. After that, they thought going to the capital building was fun."

"I didn't care where we went on a field trip as long as we got out of school," Cuddy said.

"Another fun time was when the school did really well on their annual testing and we got to have a huge pizza party," House said. "They brought in a DJ and everyone was dancing and having fun. Some of the teachers even danced. It was always weird to see teachers acting like humans."

"I saw one of my teachers making out at the mall once with some guy," Cuddy said. "They were really going at it, too."

"That's gross," House said. "All my teachers were old woman, so no one wants to see that."

"My teacher was about 40 and married," Cuddy said.

"What kind of skanky school did you go to?" House asked.

"Skanks High," Cuddy said.

"Oh," House said. "I think mine is actually called This School Is Full Of Jackasses High. People thought they were talking about donkeys, so they had to change the name."

"They named a school after you?" Cuddy asked with a smirk.

"Its names is about to be changed again To That Place Where The Dean Of Medicine Of Princeton Got Murdered By Her Ridiculous Good-Looking Boyfriend High," House said.

"That name's too long," Cuddy said. "I don't think they will change it to that."

"You are in a very smart-ass mood today," House said.

"I know," Cuddy said. "Your dad better watch out."

"Let's get to my parent's house as fast as we can then!" House said.

"Just remember that I am pregnant and my mood can change and I can turn on you in any second," Cuddy said.

"Gulp," House said with a smile.

After spending a little while longer looking around the campus, House and Cuddy headed back to his parent's house. When House and Cuddy pulled into the driveway, they could see that everyone was outside in the backyard. House and Cuddy joined the rest in the backyard.

"Where have you two been?" Blythe asked.

"We went out to breakfast," House said.

"You should have stayed here," Abby said. "Your mom made some great food."

"It's fine," Blythe said. "Let them have their alone time."

"I am going to go to the bathroom room and I will be right back out," Cuddy said to House.

"Okay," House said.

Cuddy made her way into the house. When Cuddy went into the kitchen, she saw John lying on the kitchen floor. "Mr. House!" Cuddy said as she ran over to him.

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_I feel a little unloved because every story I have written has gotten more and more reviews, but this one is not going to get more than the last story unless I get an average of 24 reviews for the last few chapters. I hope you guys haven't gotten sick of my stories!_


	21. Stayin Alive

**Stayin Alive**

Cuddy kneeled down on the floor next to John. John was lying on the floor wheezing. Cuddy could tell that he was having a hard time breathing. Cuddy could tell by the way that John looked and was acting that he was having an allergic reaction to something. Cuddy knew she would have to work fast because John's lips had already started to turn blue.

"Mr. House, have you had an allergic reaction before?" Cuddy asked, trying to get him to focus on her. "Do you have EpiPens?" John nodded his head the best he could and pointed at the cabinet above the kitchen sink. Cuddy got up and ran to the sink. Cuddy pulled out the medical kit and then pulled out an EpiPen.

Cuddy ran over to John and noticed that he had stopped moving. Cuddy jammed the EpiPen into John's thigh to get the medicine into his system. Cuddy felt for John's pulse and could feel it getting weaker and weaker.

"Don't die on me," Cuddy said as she started to perform CPR. Cuddy alternated a couple times of pushing on John's chest and giving him mouth-to-mouth. The medicine finally started to work and John started to cough.

"Mr. House?" Cuddy said. John opened his eyes and looked at Cuddy. "Try to calm your breathing," Cuddy said to him. John's breathing stabled after a couple of minutes.

"Let's get you sitting up," Cuddy said to John as she helped him sit up. John leaned against the counter and rubbed his thigh were Cuddy had given him his shot.

"I must have gotten stung and not noticed," John said.

"You're allergic to bees?" Cuddy asked.

"And wasps," John said. Cuddy picked up John's arms to look for a sting mark. When Cuddy didn't find one on his arms, she looked over his neck. Sure enough, Cuddy found where a bee had stung him on the back of his neck. Cuddy pulled the stinger out.

"I'll get you some ice," Cuddy said. Cuddy got up and got an ice pack out of the freezer. Cuddy then grabbed a dishtowel and wrapped the ice pack in it. Cuddy kneeled down back next to John and put the ice pack on his neck.

"Thank you," John said.

"See?" Cuddy said. "I'm not all that bad."

"I have nothing against you," John said. "I just don't understand why you are with Greg."

"Because I love him," Cuddy said.

"That is not a very smart reason," John said.

"Fine," Cuddy said. "Because he loves me." Just then, Natalie came into the kitchen and saw Cuddy holding an ice pack to John's neck.

"Did you judo-chop him?" Natalie asked.

"No," Cuddy said. "Go get Mrs. House." Blythe and House soon made their way into the kitchen with Natalie and Wilson.

"What happened?" Blythe asked as she ran to John.

"He had an allergic reaction," Cuddy said.

"I'm fine," John said. "I just need to rest." House and Cuddy helped John get to his feet. Blythe helped John walk to their bedroom.

"You had to use an Epipen?" Wilson said. "It must have been pretty bad."

"He stopped breathing for awhile," Cuddy said. "I had to perform CPR to save him."

"I am breaking up with you Cuddy," House said.

"Because I saved your father's life?" Cuddy asked.

"No," House said. "It is because your lips have touched my father's."

"I will make sure that I use extra Listerine tonight," Cuddy said.

"You will have to do more than that," House said. "I think you need to go swimming in a pool of Listerine. After that, you need to have a lip transplant."

"It's not that bad," Cuddy said. "I actually kind of enjoyed it."

"Aaah!" House said as Cuddy had smile on her face. "Now I need Listerine for my mind!"

"I am on a roll at freaking him out today," Cuddy said.

"I don't think that I will ever be the same," House said.

"At least now John should be nicer to you," Wilson said.

"He is not going to be nicer just because she saved his life," House said.

"I meant because she kissed him," Wilson said with a smile.

"You guys are mean," House said.

"Yep," Natalie said. "Since Mr. House isn't dead, let's get back to the fun in the backyard." Natalie and Wilson headed to the backyard.

"Are you already?" Cuddy asked House.

"Yes," House said. "I will just have to deal with knowing that you gave my father mouth-to-mouth."

"I meant are you okay because your dad almost died," Cuddy said.

"I know he is okay, so I'm fine," House said.

"Okay," Cuddy said. Cuddy knew she didn't really want to push the issue with House. "I am going to run to the bathroom."

"To Listerine up?" House asked.

"I meant to pee, but that too," Cuddy said.

"Have fun with both of those," House said. "I am going to go get even with Wilson for his kissing comment."

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_A big shirt-less Hugh Laurie hug for the 34 people who reviewed last chapter!_


	22. Super Freak

**Super Freak**

While Cuddy went to use the bathroom, House went outsides and started throwing things at Wilson.

"Will you make him stop?" Wilson asked Cuddy when she came back outside. House threw an acorn at Wilson's head.

"It's sweet that you think I can actually make him do anything," Cuddy said.

"Wilson is going to be very happy when we head back home," Natalie said.

"I am going to be happy too," House said. "I am going to lie at home and watch some TV and then I am going to turn Japanese."

"Turn Japanese?" Cory said. "What does that mean?"

"He is referring to a song from the 80's," Cuddy said.

"It's about masturbating," House said.

"I must have missed out on that song," Cory said.

"Even after I found out what it was about I continued to listen to it because it was so catchy," Cuddy said. House felt that it was his cue to start singing it.

_I'm turning Japanese_

_I think I'm turning Japanese_

_I really think so_

"Now that I know what it is talking about, please don't sing it," Cory said. "I still don't get what it means, though."

"When you are masturbating, you squint your eyes so much that you look Japanese," House said.

"I didn't mean for you to explain it to me," Cory said. "Why do you need to do that when you have her anyway?"

"She's not with me 24/7," House said.

"You know, some women don't like when their guys do that," Cory said.

"I don't mind," Cuddy said. "I do it when he's gone too." House's head almost ripped off as he turned to look at Cuddy after she said that.

"I think you should tell use more about this," House said.

"And please be specific," Wilson said.

"Guys are weird," Natalie said. "They sit around thinking about women touching themselves, while the last things I want to think about is a man jerking off."

"I don't get how that makes us weird," House said. Cory and Wilson nodded in agreement. Cuddy's cell phone then went off.

"Sorry guys," Cuddy said. "Maybe I will give you the details some other time." Cuddy went and answered her phone. House went and followed Cuddy when she went into the house. Cuddy went into their bedroom and pulled some papers out of her suitcase. House sat down on the bed and stared at her. Cuddy got off the phone 15 minutes later.

"No work when we are on vacation," House said.

"They just needed some information," Cuddy said. Cuddy went to leave but House jumped in front of her to stop her.

"So what do you think about when you please yourself?" House asked.

"You, of course," Cuddy said.

"Which parts of me?" House asked.

"All parts of you," Cuddy said. "I imagine my hands rubbing against your bare, strong chest."

"Yeah," House said, liking where this was going.

"I imagine you rubbing your rough, man-hands over my naked body," Cuddy said.

"I like that idea," House said.

"You mouth then covers my whole body with light kisses," Cuddy said. "That is when I move my hand down to feel my wetness. I gently start to rub around my opening."

"Oh, yeah," House said, loving the sultry voice that Cuddy was using.

"I then I close my eyes and imagine you on me," Cuddy said. "I then imagine you forcefully entering me, taking me hard up the ass."

"Wait," House said shocked. "What?"

"I can't tell if you are flustered or embarrassed," Cuddy said laughing.

"Stop trying to freak me out!" House said.

"But it is so fun!" Cuddy said.

"What is wrong with you today?" House asked.

"My hormones are going haywire and for some reason it has put me in a funny mood," Cuddy said.

"It put you in the mood for me to pound your ass?" House asked.

"My mood is more that I want to say things that shock you," Cuddy said. "Your face gives some very good reactions."

"I guess I should be glad that you are in a sarcastic mood and not a 'let's hit House over the head with a skillet' mood," House said.

"I am horny mood," Cuddy whispered to House.

"I can tell by all of your dirty talk," House said. Just then, a knock came at the door.

"Go away!" House said.

"It's mom," Blythe said, killing House's mood.

"Come in," Cuddy said. Blythe came in and gave Cuddy a big hug.

"Think you for helping John," Blythe said.

"I'm a doctor," Cuddy said. "That's what we do."

"I just wanted to make sure that I told you think you because I know John probably never will," Blythe said.

"He actually did tell me thank you," Cuddy said.

"Maybe she didn't save him," House said.

"He was recovering from a lack of oxygen," Cuddy said.

"Whatever the reason, I am glad that he said it to you," Blythe said. "I really want to make sure that we all get along."

"We are going to continue come seeing you mom, so don't freak out," House said.

"I just want to make sure that I will get to see _all_ of you," Blythe said.

"You will," Cuddy said. "I promise." Cuddy knew that Blythe was referring to the baby. Blythe gave Cuddy a big kiss on the check.

"Greg is so lucky to have you," Blythe said. "Anyone would have been."

"If you guys love each other so much, why don't you get married?" House asked as he rolled his eyes.

"Because there is an unspoken rule that you are not allowed to date your boyfriend's mother," Cuddy said in a duh tone.

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_The song is Turning Japanese by The Vapors. It has been stuck on my mind, so I thought I should write about it._


	23. Carefree Highway

_It's not the longest chapter, but I wanted to give you guys something before the weeked. Huddy smut on Monday!_

**Carefree Highway**

At 5:00, House, Cuddy, Wilson, and Natalie were all packed and ready to head home. Blythe was currently giving House a big hug in his room.

"You will have to let go of me sometime mom," House said to his mother.

"No, I don't," Blythe said.

"Don't you want me to go back to Princeton and take care of Cuddy?" House asked.

"I guess you are right," Blythe said with a smile as she finally let go of House.

"I want you to have this mom," House said as he handed an envelope to his mother.

"What is it?" Blythe asked as she started to open it.

"You can't open it until we leave," House said as he stopped her.

"Why?" Blythe asked.

"Because I want you to go someplace alone and open it," House said.

"I can't let your father know about it?" Blythe asked.

"You'll know when you can show it to him," House said. Blythe was a little confused, but agreed not to open it until House left.

In the front way, everyone received their hugs and kisses and then headed out to the car.

"Everyone hurry before mom grabs me and won't let me go," House said.

"Don't worry Mrs. House," Cuddy said to Blythe. "I'll take really good care of him."

"I know," Blythe said. "You guys drive safely and have a good flight. Call me when you get home." Everyone in the car waved as they pulled away.

"I have to admit this trip was better than me just staying home and doing nothing for the weekend," Natalie said.

"I am going to be happy to get home," Cuddy said.

"She only wants to get home because she told me she wants me to take her in the ass," House said. Wilson almost chocked on the Jolly Rancher in his mouth.

"I would like to comment that conversation was said in a joking matter," Cuddy said.

"No, it wasn't," House said.

"Yes, it was!" Cuddy said. "I was just trying to freak him out. It worked too. The look on his face was priceless."

"You don't need to lie about it Lisa," Natalie said with a smile.

"Yes, you do," Wilson said. "I don't want to know about it."

"But can't you just hear Lisa now," Natalie said. "Yes, House. Fuck me in the ass harder!"

"Are you sure that you are not just thinking about your fantasies?" Cuddy asked.

"Of letting House fuck me in the ass?" Natalie asked.

"Can we please get off this conversation?" Wilson asked.

"You are just saying that because you are the only one that doesn't want House to take the in the ass," Natalie said. "Hopefully."

"I don't know how this ended up from me with Cuddy to me with Wilson, but I do think this conversation needs to stop," House said.

"Are you a little curious about it, though?" Natalie asked. "I've always enjoyed it."

"Ahh!" House said. "Where is the nearest cliff to drive off to make that comment permanently go away?"

"See Lisa?" Natalie said. "I am still Queen of the Freakout."

"More of Queen of Traumatizing Us For Life," Wilson said.

"I thought guys always like hearing details of women's sex lives?" Natalie asked.

"We do," House said. "You just need to prepare us a little more for it."

"And preferably when we are the only two in the room," Wilson said.

"And Cuddy is not allowed to tell anyone about it," House said.

"You know you tell Wilson about our sex life," Cuddy said.

"But it would turn him on a lot more of you were telling him in your sexy voice," House said.

"It would," Wilson said.

"It's never going to happen, so don't get your hopes up," Cuddy said.

********************************************

"Back at the House's home, Blythe excused herself from the group and went into the study. She had to know what House had given her. Blythe opened the envelope and tears quickly fell down from her eyes. Blythe stared down at the ultrasound that House had given her. Blythe couldn't believe that was the very first picture of her grandbaby.

As House drove to the airport, he couldn't help but think about the picture he had given to his mother. House knew that there was no way his mom could have kept her emotions in check if she had seen that picture before they left. One thing House knew for sure, though, was that his mother would love the gift.


	24. Ain't No Woman Like I One I Got

_A little Huddy smut for you all. If anyone has any ideas for another story, feel free to tell me!_

**Ain't No Woman Like The One I Got**

11:50pm

House and Cuddy threw their luggage down next to the front door, happy to be home.

"It's great to be back home," Cuddy said.

"I am so done with seeing the family for the year," House said.

"We have to see them at least one more time," Cuddy said. "I want to tell them about the baby in person."

"You can go and tell your parents," House said.

"You have to be there too," Cuddy said.

"I though I only had to be there for the baby making part," House said.

"Sorry," Cuddy said. "You are stuck with all the parts. Plus, I am going to be there when you tell your parents."

"Can't we just have my mom tell my dad?" House asked.

"No," Cuddy said. "I know she will want to know how the pregnancy is going and to see the ultrasound."

"She already has seen it," House said. "I gave her mine."

"You did?" Cuddy asked with a smile.

"Yeah," House said. "I know I will get anther picture at the next ultrasound."

"You are a good son," Cuddy said.

"No, I'm not," House said.

"You are a good son sometimes, then," Cuddy said as she gave House a little kiss. Cuddy turned around and started looking through her purse.

House came up behind Cuddy and pulled her tight into a hug. "I love you," House whispered into Cuddy's ear.

"I love you too," Cuddy said as she felt House's erection press against her back. Cuddy pressed herself back against House, making him groan. House started rocking his hips against Cuddy to build up some friction.

House slipped his hands down the front of Cuddy and unzipped her pants. Cuddy turned in House's arms and gave him a passionate kiss. House hands moved up and curled into Cuddy's hair as he deepened the kiss, plunging his tongue deep into her mouth. Cuddy moaned, pushing her body against House's.

House moved his lips from Cuddy's mouth and placed open mouth kisses from her jaw down to her neck, sucking at the place between her neck and her collarbone. Cuddy arched into the kiss and groaned.

Cuddy ran her hands down House's body and to his sides, grabbing the bottom of his shirt and lifting it up. House stopped kissing Cuddy so that he could fully remove his shirt. After House's shirt was off, Cuddy ran her hands over his chest and started kissing him again.

House then helped Cuddy take off her shirt. Cuddy took a step back from House and pushed her pants down. House looked at Cuddy standing before him with only a bra and panties on while she undid his pants and slid them down. House kicked his pants off as Cuddy grabbed his hand and lead him to the couch.

House and Cuddy made their way to the couch. Before House laid down on it, Cuddy helped him take off his boxers. House then laid down on the couch and Cuddy sat down on him with her legs on the side of his. House's erection rubbed against Cuddy's panties and Cuddy lightly rubbed herself against him.

House slid his hands along Cuddy's thighs, sending a nice sensation through Cuddy's body. Cuddy reached behind herself and rubbed House, giving him a few light squeezes. House groaned at the feeling.

House then started rubbing his hand up and down the front of Cuddy's panties, feeling that the cotton was soaked. House started to push a little harder against Cuddy, making her moan.

House pushed aside Cuddy's panties and pushed his pointer finger into Cuddy, moving it slowly around in her. House then added his ring finger, plunging his two fingers deep inside of Cuddy. Cuddy thrusted her hips down onto House's hand, which sent his fingers even deeper inside of her. House stuck a third finger into Cuddy, pumping them in and out slowly, feeling her walls stretch around his hand. Cuddy's juices flowed steadily out of her as she became wetter and wetter. House maneuvered his pinky finger in with the rest of his fingers, filling Cuddy up even more. Cuddy's hips now matched House's rhythm of moving his fingers in and out of her.

Cuddy whimpered when House withdrew all of his fingers, making her feel empty. House wasn't going to let Cuddy cum by using his fingers. Cuddy watched House as he sucked on his completely soaked and sticky fingers.

Cuddy moved down House's body. House thought she was going to position herself over him so he could enter her, but instead Cuddy moved down far enough to position her mouth above his erection.

Cuddy lowered her head down and took House into her mouth and swirled her tongue around the head. House groaned and used his hand to push Cuddy's head further down his cock. Cuddy started to pump her head up and down House, sucking him harder and harder. House almost lost it when Cuddy completely engulfed House into her mouth and then hummed. Cuddy pulled her mouth off of House just in time. Cuddy then removed her panties and threw them to the side.

Cuddy moved back up House and House motioned for her to bend over so he could take a nipple in his mouth, which he gently sucked. While House was doing this, Cuddy positioned herself on top of House to get ready to let him in her. House felt Cuddy's pussy rub against his tip. House pushed himself halfway up into Cuddy. Cuddy pushed herself the rest of the way down, taking him all the way in a one motion. House changed nipples as Cuddy slowly grinded herself against House.

House removed his mouth from Cuddy's nipples as she sat up straighter and picked up the pace on House. Cuddy slammed herself up and down onto House, every time feeling him push all the way into her. House gripped Cuddy's hips, helping her move up and down on him.

Cuddy moved her right hand down to her clit and started to frantically rub. Seeing Cuddy touch herself turned House on even more. House ended up exploding into Cuddy a few seconds before her own orgasm came. House and Cuddy rode out their orgasm together.

Cuddy finally collapsed down on House.

"I love when you take control," House said.

"I love when you let me have my way with you," Cuddy said.

"I'm exhausted," House said. "Carry me to bed."

"That wouldn't happen even if I wasn't pregnant," Cuddy said.

"But I was a good boyfriend and made you have a mind-blowing orgasm," House said.

"And I also made you have a mind-blowing orgasm," Cuddy said. "I think we are even."

"Carry me to bed and I will give you another one," House said.

"Follow me to bed and I will give you another one," Cuddy said as she climbed off of House. House looked as a naked Cuddy walked down to their bedroom. House rolled off the couch and followed her.


	25. Call Me

**Call Me**

September 3

7:00am

House and Cuddy lying in their bed passed out. From their trip back home and their late night activity, they were both exhausted. Their peace and quiet was soon ruined by the sound of Cuddy's phone going off. Cuddy rolled out of House's warm embrace and grabbed her phone. House just groaned and put the covers over his head.

"Hello?" Cuddy answered the phone groggily.

"Hi, baby," Laura said. "It's mom."

"Hi mom," Cuddy said.

"Did I wake you up?" Laura asked.

"Yeah," Cuddy said.

"Sorry," Cuddy said. "You usually wake up by now."

"We didn't get back until late," Cuddy said.

"Did you have a nice trip?" Laura asked.

"Yes," Cuddy said. "It was nice seeing where House grew up."

"Did he enjoy himself?" Laura asked.

"I think so," Cuddy said.

"Can this conversation go elsewhere?" House asked Cuddy as he poked his head back out from under the covers. "I'm trying to sleep."

"Hang on mom," Cuddy said. "House wants to talk to you." Cuddy stuck out the phone at House and gave him a big smile.

"I hate you," House whispered to Cuddy. House took the phone from Cuddy. "Hi, Mrs. Cuddy," House said cheerfully.

"Hi, Greg," Laura said. "I was just talking to Lisa about your trip to your parent's house."

"It was fun," House said. "We got to go camping in my parent's backyard. You daughter really made me appreciation camping all over again." House gave Cuddy a big grin.

"That's good," Laura said. "I would really like to meet your parents someday."

"Do you really want to put yourself through that torture?" House asked.

"I am sure that it will be fine," Laura said.

"You and Cuddy can figure something out," House said. "I am going to go back to sleep." House handed the phone back to Cuddy.

"What are you and I going to figure out?" Cuddy asked her mom.

"When I get to meet House's parents," Laura said. "How about for Thanksgiving?"

"Okay," Cuddy said. "Everyone can come to out house."

"That sounds great," Laura said. "I just called to make sure you two got home safely. You can go back to your sleep now."

"Thanks mom," Cuddy said. "Goodbye."

"Did you seriously just say that everyone can come over here?" House asked Cuddy once she hanged up the phone.

"For Thanksgiving," Cuddy said.

"At least the turkey will make everyone sleepy," House said.

"I think that will be the best time to tell them about the baby," Cuddy said. "I'll be out of my first trimester by then."

"You dad and my dad are not going to get along," House said. "You don't even have to by physic to know that."

"May the best man win," Cuddy said.

"My dad's screwed," House said. "He better bring a gun."

"Just think at Thanksgiving I will be almost 5 months along," Cuddy said. "We will be able to find out the sex of the baby around then."

"Do you think your dad will be happy you are pregnant?" House asked.

"I think so," Cuddy said. "I don't know why he wouldn't be."

"I just hope my dad does not ruin it for everyone," House said as he got out of bed.

"You're getting up?" Cuddy asked.

"I have to go pee-pee," House said, causing Cuddy to laugh. When House went back into the bedroom, Cuddy was curled up and trying to go back to sleep. House got back into bed and wrapped his arms around Cuddy. Cuddy moved closer into House's touch. House ran his hand down Cuddy's body and pushed his hand into Cuddy's panties. House played with Cuddy's curls, telling her to open her legs wider.

"I thought you were so sleepy," Cuddy said as she spread her legs a little.

"But I'm awake now," House said as he rubbed his hand up and down Cuddy's slit. "And you are always sexy when you first wake up." Cuddy spread her legs a little more to give House more access.

Cuddy moaned as House rubbed his hand in circles on her clit. When Cuddy was about to explode, House stopped rubbing and withdrew his hand. House sat up and made Cuddy lay down on her back. House pulled downed Cuddy's panties and moved in-between her legs.

House moved his mouth to Cuddy's clit and started sucking. Cuddy's whole body shook as House sucked her. House then started licking up Cuddy's juices with his tongue. Cuddy held onto the back of House's head as he stuck his tongue in and out of her. House felt Cuddy shake underneath him as his mouth brought her to orgasm.

"That was great," Cuddy said. "See you in a couple of hours." Cuddy smiled and rolled over on her side.

"Excuse me," House said. "Someone if waiting for attention." Cuddy looked as House pointed to his erection.

"You can bond with him," Cuddy said with a laugh. House grabbed Cuddy's leg to pull her back to him.

"Don't you know that no means no?" Cuddy asked with a laugh.

"Like you would ever say no to sex with me," House said as he finally got Cuddy's legs apart again. House laid down on Cuddy and quickly pushed himself into her. "My little nympho likes it a little rough," House said as Cuddy immediately started moving her hips against House's.

"Maybe," Cuddy said with a smile as House started pounding into her. The frantic pace had them erupting in no time.

"Aren't you glad that you didn't go back to sleep now?" House asked Cuddy.

"Every part of me is happy," Cuddy said.

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_This is the final chapter of this story. I would like to thank all of my loyal readers, including Monkey and Music Lover, emzypemzy, ZaraShade, Hughlaurie4ever, CuttingOnions, heartofhorse, joraco14, aserene, LemonGrenades. This story did not improve on reviews as my other stories did, so hopefully my next story will be better._

My next story in the series is gonna be called "Such A Holiday." Please leave an exit review for this story when you have finished reading.


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